What Does Venting Look Like When You’re an Empathy Lightning Rod?
A plasma globe… where I’m the globe.
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So the moment I saw the publication The Venting Machine, I was excited.
I mean, why wouldn’t I be? I have opinions and frustrations, AND I have fingers to tip-tap-articulate these via my keyboard. I think a lot of things about the way people behave. I judge others more than a judiciary on a Monday. And I believe that a lot of humans act like trash.
So I signed up to be a writer, opened up a new blank sheet of a Medium article, and started to write.
It went something like this:
Topic 1
Don’t join the police if you’re a woman
…well, I mean then that won’t change anything about the toxicity of police culture… because that just encourages the ratio of women to men to drop off… okay…
Topic 1.1
The police is a toxic sludge-pit for women
…but then, my experience will not be universal to every woman. And lots are ingrained in that culture and see me as the ‘bad woman’ who couldn’t cut it. Okay, maybe I’ll vent about something else…
Topic 2
Animal Rescues — underfunded, under-resourced and under-regulated
…okay, good, yep, this will be a good rant. Except it mostly makes me sad, and I don’t really know if me adding to the conversation on this in a ‘rant’ space is helpful… Considering animal rescues do such fantastic work…
Topic 3
Little dogs — they deserve better owners
…yep, here’s a winner. I can talk about how little dogs get treated like toys and become neurotic little anxiety balls and how they don’t get trained out of bad behavior… But then it’s just an education problem, right? Am I really going to rant about that? I can’t be angry at people for something they’ve never had the opportunity to learn and is a massively ingrained cultural problem, can I? Ugh… New topic…
Topic 4
Empathy — Why empathy is the fucking worst
…yep, I can’t watch the office because that bit where Kevin drops the chili makes me want to vomit. And die. And cry. And I read into things too much. And sometimes, I react to things that happen to people in front of me stronger than those people do. And then I’m the weird freak.
And ultimately, here’s why it’s really the fucking worst. Because when I think about what I want to rant about, the only thing I’ve come close to being comfortable with ranting at is me.
I’m a plasma globe of feelings. I suck that electricity in, and maybe sometimes I touch others and share a quick static shock. But that electricity is a whirling disaster like Dorothy in a tornado. So, yes, there’s probably a cow in there somewhere too. I’m sure I’m the cow somehow. Someone, somewhere, is probably upset with what I have to say.
Am I alone?
Can you relate? Are you a plasma globe of emotion who exhausts themself into thinking about every facet of how your words might affect every human, plant, animal, or mineral on this planet (and off it)?
Please, share how you get past this. Do you still rant? Where is the line? How do you decide where feelings matter more than a piece or where things are just better left unsaid.
In the meantime, I’ll keep making it up. Which I have a feeling is what most of us are doing anyway.
