If Our Future Descendants Talk About Shoes the Way We Talk About Corsets Today

Footwear of any kind is oppressive to women.

Amy Colleen
The Victorian Lady’s Column

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Photo by Dulcey Lima on Unsplash
  1. Back in the olden days when people wore shoes, feet became permanently deformed due to being restricted in leather and foam. See this historical text about foot binding in China? This was true of every country.
  2. Look at this picture of the historic figure Kim Kardashian and her 8-inch stiletto wedges! Can you imagine wearing those back in the 2000s, as obviously everyone did at that time?
  3. Why would you want your feet protected from the ground just for the sake of fashion? People in olden times were so weird.
  4. Obviously shoes were only worn by women, as an agent of the patriarchy.
  5. Wearing shoes from a young age restricted the growth of everyone’s feet; that’s why the average size then was smaller than today.
  6. Women who actually cared about equality eschewed shoes on principle, which is why the female protagonist of my historical novel set in 2022 goes barefoot year-round, indoors and outdoors, in Minnesota.
  7. Shoes were only for thin people. There’s no such thing as a plus-sized shoe.
  8. Shoes prevented feet from breathing, which is why foot sweat was not discovered until…

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Amy Colleen
The Victorian Lady’s Column

I read a lot of books & sometimes I’m funny. I aspire to be a novelist, practice at humor & human interest writing, and am very fond of the Oxford comma.