2021: The Year That Will Test Me as a Writer
My writing journey started when I was 13 years old. I had got so inspired with Harry Potter, that even I wanted to become a “writer”. This resulted in me starting my first book… and not finishing it. It ended up becoming, an exact replica of Harry Potter with names and places changed :)
Over time, I became an “inspired” writer. I used to pen down my thoughts and emotions when it hit me. Not regular journaling, but occasional writing. If you know what I mean.
I was never used to forcing myself to sit down and write.
When COVID hit, like millions of others, I also began the “search” for my passion. This was also the time I got to know about Medium, and the platform reignited the passion I had for the craft. Getting to know this wonderful platform was pure luck. I started with no followers, no writing background, and on an empty page. Nothing other than my thoughts and experiences, which I wanted to share with the world.
Starting to write was a beautiful experience for me. It helped me to get out of my depression since I got to share my frustrations, thoughts and happiness through my words. I also got to meet my writing sisters at the time, and their encouragement made me even more confident with my writing.
Thus, I started writing in August 2020, aiming to publish as much as I could. I went on a publishing streak — 10 articles in September and October, 8 in November, and 11 till now in December. Every time I finished an article I got an adrenaline rush. My heart beat faster. I felt so happy to see a completed piece!
Then December came up, and I was not able to write. At all. I had hit the infamous “writer’s block”. Most of the articles published this month were the ones written the previous month.
I felt horrible and frustrated looking at the empty Word document! I had no mood to write. I used to Google hundreds of writing ideas and prompts, but nothing worked. Nothing clicked! It felt as though my “honeymoon” period with writing was over. I wrote 3 articles in 15 days, even that was with so much difficulty.
This month pushed me to think whether I was a “writer”. Whether I was worth it. Am I even good enough? Can I see myself 10 years from now, sitting in front of a laptop and typing like a maniac?
How are successful writers like, Tim Denning, Tom Kuegler, and Shannon Ashley cranking out so many articles? Where are they getting their content from?
Itxy Lopez is the same age as me. Why don’t I have as many followers? Why am I not able to produce viral articles like her?
It was an extremely frustrating month.
It took a lot of self-questioning, encouragement from my husband and friends to get my confidence back. To realize that, I am good enough. And I cannot compare myself to others.
I had to give myself all kinds of pep talks which made me realize — I was only seeing the success of successful writers. I was not seeing their struggles. Or the consistent effort they had put in for an extended period to reap the benefits they are getting today. I had no right to get such results only after 3 months of writing.
My state of mind, gave me a good opportunity, to remind myself of why I joined Medium in the first place. I had joined to share my knowledge, thoughts and opinions with the world. I wanted to write and publish 100 blog posts for a year, to know whether I truly love writing. Love it enough to make it a career. I had to make myself see the bigger picture.
And as the year is about to end, I have somehow managed to come out of my writer’s block. All it took was a conversation with a new friend I made. To feel inspired and feel encouraged to move forward.
2021 will be the year that will test me as a writer. I will know whether I am up for the job. And I am also ready to face the failures as the successes. I know that baring your soul to the world is not easy. Rejections are not easy. But it is okay, I am prepared for what is to come. I have to continuously tell myself to not compare to the others. I have to carve a path for myself in this beautiful writer’s community.
And I am prepared to do that, and face all the tests along the way.
