Become the Woman You Were Meant to Be Before Self-Doubt Got in the Way
And how to never lose her again
If I handed you a brand new $20 bill and asked you to tell me its value, what would you say? You’d probably say it’s worth $20 bucks!
But what if I crumpled up that same $20 into a small ball between my hands? What would you say the value of that $20 bill would be then? You’d probably say its value is still $20.
Okay…so what if I drew stars and circles all over the front and back of that $20 bill? Or what if I forgot about it, left it in my coat pocket, and threw it in the washing machine? What would the value be then? Would it still be worth $20? Of course it would!
Hmm…What if I cut the bill in half, cut each half in half, then taped it back together? Would the $20 bill still be worth the same amount? Yes!
You and I are like the $20 bill. No matter what happens, no matter how many times we fail, make a mistake, take a wrong turn, and no matter how many people don’t like us or leave us, our value doesn’t change.
Our worthiness is a non-negotiable. It is never in question.
However, what can (and does) happen is that our awareness of who we truly are as perfect and whole beings, gets blocked out by our continuous attention on a belief, thought or condition of our lives that conflicts with the Truth that we are always worthy.
When we believe our worth is conditional on outside circumstances or on the approval of others we will suffer. The truth is our confidence is not found in the superficial layers of life. It is found within us. When we get to know who we are, at our core, self-doubt, anxiety, and shame can more easily slip away.
“You are the only one who can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you. You are just, at the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting” — Abraham Hicks
I spent years reading books about my worthiness. I’ve read hundreds of self-help books and spiritual books. And although they are still among my favorite things, just reading them never really helped me overcome the anxiety and doubt that plagued me for years— and that got really frustrating.
What made the difference and finally got me out of all the darkness of self-doubt to become the person I was meant to be before anxiety and fear got in the way, was my learning how to believe in myself — not matter what was happening around me.
Change is inevitable. It’s an unavoidable and constant part of life. But progress is a choice. Progress comes from making conscious decisions linked with continuous and intentional actions — while remembering we are always enough. Embodying our worthiness can happen when we decide to look beyond the superficial aspects of our life and look deep within ourselves.
We all have inner work to do. We have something from our past we need to untangle from our current day experiences to really feel free in the moment. And while we’re facing our shadows it’s also important that we celebrate what we’re doing right, what is going well — and who we already are deep inside.
Look back at this past year. Consider what you’ve been through.
Hold the idea in your heart that nothing that has happened can ever (ever) change your inherent value. Try to remember that there is an aspect of you, deep in your core, that is fearless, unchanging, stable, and free. Imagine that part of you is like the $20 bill. You own your value no matter what you’ve been through.
Consider these questions as you look back over this past year:
- How have you become stronger emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?
- How have you become wiser?
- What has been made more clear to you?
- Can you see your worthiness and value from a new perspective?
The next time that twinge of unworthiness, anxiety, or self-doubt pops-up try to pause, breathe, and remember that where you are is not who you are. And what you are going through does not define your worth. You do.
If you’re struggling to become the woman you were meant to be before anxiety and self-doubt got in the way I’d love to give you the first three chapters of my bestselling book If I’m So Spiritual, Why Am I Still So Anxious? www.joystonecoaching.com
