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“Before They Bite, They Bark. Before They Hit You, They Hit Near You”
How “Maid” on Netflix contains an important truth about domestic abuse
The first time I left my first husband, I didn’t go very far at all. I didn’t go for very long, either. I had no money and also, I didn’t really want to go. I was nineteen years old, my baby was one year old, and I’d shaped my whole self around a man I couldn't believe was not actually going to be my future. I wasn’t ready to admit the depth of my mistake.
I can’t remember what I did wrong that day, but I can remember my husband’s face close to mine, distorted with fury, and I can remember the edge of the kitchen work surface digging into my back as I realized I didn’t have any more room to back away from him.
He didn’t hit me. He just smashed some plates on the tiled floor, and because we lived back then in a house that his parents owned and furnished, they were not my plates. I didn’t feel sad about the plates. I did feel sad when my husband locked me in the upstairs bathroom to think about what I had done wrong. (I really can’t remember what it was, you know. I think maybe I had got mud on a floor he had recently mopped, or forgotten to put a mat down to catch crumbs on the dinner table). I did feel sad when I could hear my baby crying and I was completely…
