Can We Please Talk About My Uterus?
She’s feeling kind of left out
Do you have a job? Do you work with people you suspect might have a uterus? Are those colleagues less than 50 years old? Then I have a frightening realization for you: Those people probably experience menstruation.
It is a horrifying reality many employees will have to face: at any given time, these uterus-bearing creatures could be bleeding — and they’re all around you. They’re borrowing your pens, sharing your refrigerator, and treating you to coffee. (Oh my god, what if they put “some” in it?)
Legend has it, if enough of these harpies menstruate at once, they will perform a blood-syncing ritual to evoke the spirit of Baba Gaga — who, flying in on a winged tampon, will place feminine hygiene products in plain sight and turn all the office thermostats to a sweltering 75° Fahrenheit.
Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic
But the fear is real. Despite many of the advances made in women’s work culture, the stigma surrounding periods is still one of intense shame and disgust. The vast majority of working women are in their menstrual phase, yet to even mention something so natural is met with hostility — even when it is an important or relevant factor. And worse yet, this stigma is drenched in hypocrisy.
According to a study performed by Initial Washroom Hygiene in the UK, roughly 32% of men find it “unprofessional” for people to talk about their period at work. Worse yet, THINX in the US found that 51% of men also felt that way. And while it is hard to find many studies on the topic, the reality is very clear to those who’ve experienced it: the mere existence of the menstrual cycle must be concealed at all costs.
In fact, the former study also showed that 40% of women have worn sanitary products longer than medically recommended while at work. Why? Because the risk of being “caught” with a tampon on the way to the bathroom (or having to ask a colleague for one) eclipses the fear of physical discomfort and toxic shock.
But the hypocrisy is what really does it for me
From my experience, male employees (and employers) who debase and forbid period-talk are the same men who urinate on toilet seats and treat their bowel movements like trophies; as in, they leave them out for the world to see.
They will complain that being privy to your menstrual status causes them to “visualize” you bleeding — but don’t uphold that standard when they announce to everyone that they “have to take a shit.”
Ironically, they are also the same men that have no problem visualizing you any other time of the month — and will stress this to your other male colleagues in their sacred, coveted meetings of workplace “guy talk.” (Or if you’re part of the 38%, you’ll also face that sexual harassment head-on.)
Men who belittle their co-worker’s period symptoms are the same men who wince as they exhaust an entire first-aid kit on a papercut wound, have a meltdown when they get rejected by a co-worker (she was giving me all the signs, dude!) or blow a gasket because their wife (or more likely, their mom) forgot to pack a protein bar in their lunch bag.
They are also the same men who will make a giant pyramid out of toilet paper rolls during a bathroom break, then scowl at the sight of a tampon box because the very existence of a menstrual cycle shatters their male fragility.
But, there is also a fine niche of women who don’t respect the female bodily process, either. And of course, there are many men who do respect it — but not yet enough to move us into a work environment that isn’t shrouded in shame.
I’m not asking you to paint Easter eggs with my moon blood or go streaking through the forest with me
Though I guess if you want to, we could. (But I’d have to check with HR first.) I’m not even asking you to listen to the details about what happens every month. Feeling uncomfortable (or light-headed) when it comes to the topic of bodily fluids is reasonable. But if you’re uncomfortable with a mere fact of life that is both healthy and harmless, then I am asking you to grow up.
The average woman* across the globe will have had her first period around 12 years of age, and experience menopause at 51. Which, as stated earlier, means most women in the workforce are in their menstrual phase. In the US specifically, this means they will experience roughly 450 periods in their lifetime, accumulating to about 10 years of their life — just to put it into perspective. That is a lot of time spent covering up something that shouldn’t be ridiculed in the first place.
*Due to factors such as age and health conditions, not all women menstruate regularly, if at all. Not everyone who menstruates identifies as a woman.
I’m really not even asking you to educate yourself. Education has failed all of us when it comes to the topic of sexual health and, in particular, the inner workings of female organs. Many young women still don’t fully grasp how a period functions, or how their birth control changes it. No wonder men are clueless when it comes to understanding that a vagina and a vulva aren’t the same thing; do we even know? How did Disney do a better job covering menstrual health in 1946 than any of my Sex Ed classes in the 2000s?
Stop treating menstruation like a contagious disease brought on by a malevolent curse — that is all I am asking for
Menstruation is not an illness. It is not dirty or dangerous. Censoring it only reinforces the outdated stereotypes that pin women as being unstable objects of biological inferiority; that a woman should be a delight to the eyes without the consequence of her own humanity.
I am asking for a work culture in which I can tell my boss that my retroverted uterus is causing me great pain, without them discrediting me or looking at me like I just turned their office ceiling into the Sistine Chapel of blood murals. I am asking for a work culture that holds the candor of all innocuous bodily functions to the same standard — instead of censoring that which is inherently feminine. I am asking for a work culture where an unexpected period doesn’t turn into an embarrassing mission of espionage and shame.
I am asking to be treated with respect. Every week of the month.
If you like reading about women’s issues with a humorous tone, consider checking out My Butt is Too Big for This World or How Women Are Ruining the World One Hobby at a Time.
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