Don’t Ask a Narcissist Why They Love You
I regret learning my husband’s answer to that question
I’m not sure who shook their head more. My sister when she asked my husband what made him fall in love with me, or mine when she repeated his answer back to me.
“I thought she was pretty, and she had a lot of friends,” he said.
“Seriously?” I asked. “That’s it? This is what he describes as the reason he chose to spend his life with me?!”
I was consumed with shock. I couldn’t believe that I had been ‘the one’ for him, for the shallowest of reasons. I had committed my heart to a man who, when asked about what he loved about me, gave an answer that made him sound like he was thirteen years old and explaining his first crush. Actually, I’m insulting most teenagers. Even they have more depth.
This was early in my journey of learning about narcissism.
I was already fully aware of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My husband had been diagnosed with it. But like the rest of my naive, enabling kindred spirits, I believed there was still a chance for salvation for him.
So initially, I digested his answer with the rational perspective the irrational narcissist lacks. In other words, I tried to make sense of it.
