He Tricked Me Into Getting Pregnant — The Tale No Mom Wants to Tell

My son’s origin story was stolen by the man I had him with

Suzanna Quintana
The Virago

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Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash

I hadn’t wanted to get pregnant again. At least not at that moment.

At 34, I was happily immersed in motherhood with my two boys, especially once my second son began sleeping through the night, which meant I could too.

Equally important, I was eager to pursue my writing career. Having another baby so soon after our second would make me put that dream back on the shelf, where it had already sat for years.

But my husband, who at the end of our marriage would be diagnosed a narcissist, desperately wanted me to have another child. He thought pregnant women were sexy as hell. If it were possible, he’d keep me pregnant. One baby after another, he’d say with a wicked grin.

At the time, oblivious as I was to the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, I believed it was his love that wanted me pregnant. There was nothing more fulfilling than me carrying his child, he said. Nothing more powerful to a man.

And as I soon found out, nothing more powerless for a woman.

But when he promised I could still pursue my career if I had another baby, a deal was struck. Since we were in a healthy enough financial…

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Suzanna Quintana
The Virago

My voice is my superpower. Editor-in-Chief of The Virago. Founder of The Online Sanctuary for Healing After Narcissistic Abuse. www.suzannaquintana.com