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Here’s What Happened When I Laid Out All My Baggage on First Dates
According to a 1958 article entitled ‘129 Ways to Get a Husband,’ that’s a definite no-no
I stuck out my hand.
“Hi, I’m Maria. I was recently diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, I’m in therapy for severe commitment issues, and I plan to get my tubes tied as soon as I can afford health insurance.”
That, in a nutshell, is how I began every date.
Shortly before turning 30, I found myself single and back on Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble. Granted, it was no one’s fault but my own. I’d sabotaged every relationship thus far due to the unshakable feeling that none of my boyfriends ever really knew me — and how could they?
In an attempt to make myself more palatable to the world, I had completely detached from my body and emotions. I’d shoved my shame, insecurities, and fears down so deep, I barely knew myself. But after months of dissecting my trauma in EMDR therapy, I was done pretending to be perfect.
This time, I would lead with my baggage.
