How I Keep Healing Feminine Wounds While Dating a Man
Doing deep inner work attracts more supportive partners
Most women have heavy feminine wounds. Why wouldn’t we? We live in a patriarchal culture. Centuries of conditioning formed deep, rooted, unhelpful patterns in our collective unconscious.
Resetting those beliefs and behaviors requires ongoing, intentional efforts. Consider the “virtue” of being “nice,” for example. I always wanted to be nice. Most women do. It’s not actually helpful to put others first. Being “kind” matters much more because the approach includes our concerns and needs in the equation.
So I’ve done a lot of focused work in my romantic life, well over 10,000 hours. I’ve cultivated expertise, and I’m constantly seeing opportunities to improve. I’ve reset so many old patterns and have reached notably deeper levels of intimacy with myself and others.
For more context, I have an extensive and horrifying trauma history, notably in my relationship with men, work, and gender. I’ve made it to the other side of many forms of abuse, spanning the first 26 years of my life. So when I show up to write, heal, and connect romantically, I bring way more depth and inner scarring than meets the eye.
