How I’m Healing Codependency After 26 Years of Narcissistic Abuse
Here’s how I identified codependent behaviors and poured energy back into my life.
On a recent Saturday night, I lit candles and incense in the kitchen. Feeling inspired by a new sense of openness, I turned the pulsing electronic music up. Then I began worrying: Is this too loud? Will my housemates get upset? Will this erotic music make them uncomfortable?
Though the incident seems insignificant, my habit of anticipating others’ needs and putting their concerns before my own is a sign of codependency.
Codependency occurs as a normal response to abnormal people, i.e., people with mental or physical illness. Since exploring the “Codependent No More” book by Melody Beattie and a few other expert resources, I’ve thoroughly assessed my problematic behaviors.
Since my therapist helped me discover narcissism in my birth family last year, I’ve prioritized my healing journey. I also dated at least one overt narcissist and got into several toxic work and home environments. I unconsciously attracted more dysfunction.
If you’ve had relationships with toxic people, you likely developed some unhelpful coping strategies. Identifying specific problematic behaviors enables us to move forward.
