I Gave Her My Consent and Felt Trapped as I Let Her Violate Me
Just because you said yes, doesn’t mean you can’t take it back.
Trigger Warning: this article talks about unwanted touch.
I’ve always had a healthy attitude toward body awareness. Changing from fertile to menopausal, skinny to chunky, and sexual to sensual, my body and I have had much to celebrate throughout my lifetime. As a child, I created strong boundaries when deciding who can and can’t touch me. As I look back over the years, there were times I found myself in compromising situations. These were when men took liberties without my consent. When I think of these incidents, they conjure up an uneasiness that lives inside me without shame. I can’t say the same for the time I paid a woman to touch me. Once her hands began to work their magic, I felt violated. Inside that moment, I realized I had made a humiliating mistake.
The woman was young, beautiful, and knew her profession well. I went to see her with a friend who was eager to pay for the same service. As we sat naked under a bathrobe sipping a cup of steaming coffee, we enthusiastically chatted while we waited for our turn to be called.
I wasn’t new to the world of massage, and this wasn’t my first “Day at the Spa.” I have been allowing masseuses to touch me as…
