I Went To See Magic Mike With My Ex’s Second Wife
Bonding Time “For The Kids" Involves Watching Sexy, Sexy Men
The first time I met my ex’s second wife she was wearing my robe. I’m pretty sure I gaped like a fish and thought ‘that son of a b’ because I’d been looking for that darn thing for over a year. I couldn't finish that sentence of course — I’d hung on to his momma in the divorce.
The woman was sleep mussed and a decade younger than us. The mascara ringing her eyes highlighted the peaches and cream of her skin. Half of the jewels she’d affix to her eyelids had come off during the night. One clung to her eyelash and sparkled there like a flashy crystal tear. If I’d tried that I would have superglued my eyes shut.
She might have been the 4th woman in a year who opened my ex’s door when we were passing the kids.
“Hi! You must be Sadie,” she said and yawned. “I’d offer you coffee but I don’t know where it is. I just moved in yesterday. Let me tell Ex you’re here.”
I thought about telling her where coffee was since I used to live there, but decided I better not.
Maybe she’s clumsy too. My robe only gets coffee spilled on it by me, darn it.
