Member-only story
I’m Anxious and Ashamed to Be Financially Supported by a Man (Again)
But I’m also incredibly privileged
I never set out to be financially dependent on men as an adult woman. Most women of my generation didn’t. At least, the women I grew up with didn’t.
Back in the ’90s when I was in college, my friends and I wanted our own careers and our own money. Unlike our mothers — many of whom either worked briefly before having children or attended college just to earn their “MRS. degree” — we envisioned a different kind of life.
Marry, get pregnant, then quit our jobs to become housewives? No thanks.
My mother, born in the 1940s, was a teacher for a few years after graduating college. But once she married and had kids, she gave up her career to become a full-time mom.
She cooked every meal and handled all the household chores. My dad never so much as boiled water.
By the time I hit high school, I scorned my mother’s career sacrifice. Yes, even if that sacrifice meant ensuring I had a lovely life as a young child. Me? I refused to forfeit my career for a family. How unambitious!
But then I became a mother, and reality hit. Staying home with my kids, a choice I once judged, suddenly felt like the best option.
