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Middle Age is a New Beginning
Time to take stock and make plans.
I turned 36 this week, which feels to me like the start of middle age. “Middle-aged” has long had the ring of a demographic slur, a relegation of your experiences to the back of the store-room while the fresh allure of youth is placed in the front. It conjures unfashionable attire, a growing belly paunch, and benign respectability. To young people, middle age sounds unbelievably boring. To me the start of middle age is exciting and full of possibility, as all new beginnings are.
Do you look back at yourself five-, ten- or fifteen- years ago and see something about your younger self that’s embarrassing or cringeworthy? Some deeply held belief or assumption that you’ve since parted with. A behavior that was “fun” at the time but truly was unhealthy for your mind, body, and spirit? If you don’t, then how do you know how you’ve grown?
For me that was binge-drinking in pursuit of a social life. It was unhealthy relationships in search of a partner I didn’t know the shape of. It was a firm belief in fairness of the American meritocracy, that didn’t yet comprehend the advantages of my own privilege. It was wandering through different career paths, different cities, trying to find a place for myself and my unwieldy emotions, ambitions.