Safe Relationships Feel Scary, Not Boring
Safety can feel uncomfortable and untrustworthy
Have you read from someone that “a healthy relationship may seem boring” after toxic relationships?
I have—a LOT.
As someone who has been in many unbalanced, problematic, toxic, or abusive relationships, I’m here to tell you that healthy relationships DO NOT feel boring.
Healthy relationships feel dangerous and scary. They feel entirely unfamiliar and uncomfortable. My heart races, and my palm sweats. The little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. When I meet a possibly healthy person, all I want to do is RUN. Everything in my body is telling me that this is not good.
When I meet a problematic person, my body feels comfortable and familiar even though my head says, “This person has some problematic traits?” Yet, I stay and hang out. The next thought is always, “I should give this person a chance. I might be wrong.” I fall into these kinds of relationships naturally. I’m getting better at leaving these relationships now, but I still give these relationships way more chances than possibly healthy relationships.
The problem exacerbates when I meet a problematic person that I find to be physically attractive. My body feels drawn to them. I feel happy and excited. I…
