The Dark Side Of Being Manic
It’s about more than self-control.
Trigger warning: Suicide attempts.
Bipolar disorder, type 2, includes symptoms of hypomania. It’s a little less than a full manic episode, and there’s usually no psychosis or hallucinations involved. Bipolar 2 also has depression symptoms that can be more severe than bipolar 1. Both are lifelong illnesses that can be devastating.
When I got my official diagnosis of bipolar 2, my psychiatrist told me it wasn’t “the bad kind.” He didn’t give much information either on what to expect or any other treatment options besides medication. I admit I kind of blew it off even though I continued to have severe symptoms. After all, it wasn’t “the bad kind,” and I took all the prescribed medications. It didn’t occur to me that I would have to learn to manage my mental illness until it was too late.
What followed was me making several tragic mistakes. Some of them were outright dangerous, some wreaked havoc on my credit, and some almost cost me my life. It’s unbelievable now that I didn’t pay attention or learn more about bipolar disorder when I found out. Instead, I flailed in the wind most of the time, my moods changing whip-fast, begging for somebody to help me. Things stayed that way until I realized I had to help myself.
