The Fine Line Between Empathy And Codependency
Stay on your own roller-coaster
I’m admitting here and now that I have always had a big problem being codependent with people. My best friend of 35 years, Susan, is my first memory of acting that way. In high school, she was in a few of my classes, but I wanted her in every single one of them. If it didn’t happen, I just wouldn’t go to that class permanently. At one point, we had our schedules arranged so we had six out of seven classes together. It made me feel calm and content.
Susan was just a girl, a friend, my best friend. I didn’t have an ulterior motive for wanting to hang out with her so much. She was fun and wise and not afraid of a little mischief. It made me sad when she wasn’t around. She was always the smarter one, saving me from most of my toxic impulses. I always told people that Susan made me tougher and I made her warmer. She used to joke about her feelings until she met me who she could talk to for real. One of the best pieces of advice I got from her that even with nobody around, I still had myself. Still, I didn’t believe it myself for a long time.
Things were rough when Susan went to college in another state. We’d spent the summer either at the beach or going on double dates with our boyfriends. I talked to her almost every day, and I felt a true depression when she…
