The Intrusive Mother-in-Law
A domestic minefield of control and dominance
A fundamental paradox of going through the ravages of complex-trauma recovery is acquiring unequivocal clarity as to what is relationally permitted and what is not. That said, when I saved myself from further attachment injuries by initiating the brutal and terrifying task of walking away from my family of origin, I took with me the conviction that I will no longer tolerate esteem-deflating, harmful dynamics.
Naturally upholding this grandiose stance was an exercise in humility. I continued to fumble my way through sundry relationships, sometimes vindicated and other times not. Nevertheless, when I encountered disturbing ways of operating in my husband’s family, I drew a line.
Initially this was not met well; in fact, in the beginning, I wasn’t sure if we’d stay together. Fortunately with time and collaborative concerted efforts, we defined an amicable arrangement that allows me to buffer myself from his family’s toxic maneuvering, most notably with his mother. Leaving the country certainly helped matters.
The archetype of the intrusive, difficult mother-in-law (euphemistically known as the Monster-in-law) is a popular trope in sundry forms of entertainment. Indeed it’s not uncommon for permutations of meddling, infantilizing, controlling and…
