The Virago Newsletter for September 11, 2020
Hello Virago Readers and Writers,
I apologize for putting this newsletter out later than usual. It’s been a sad and busy week.
As most people may have heard on the news, the Western U.S. has had devastating wildfires. I live in Oregon, in the middle of where the fires are burning down entire towns. I believe there have been at least five towns that are now gone. Yesterday, we were busy evacuating people out of neighboring towns.
My hospital took patients from another hospital in the middle of the fire and needed to evacuate. Yesterday, I worked to help find refuge for the sick people who’ve been displaced from their homes.
People I know have also had to leave their homes behind. Some are helping the firefighters by bringing food and water. My husband and I have made room in our home to take anyone who needs a place to stay, and we are on hold waiting for a family who may need to move out a dozen chickens from their property. People have had to free their horses and other livestock and cart off anything they could take with them within a matter of hours.
Our area not only has farms but also has beautiful forests with alpine lakes, deer, squirrel, cougar, coyote, birds of prey, and a plethora of other critters. Farmland and forest are gone. All those acres of land and the animals who inhabit it, what has happened to them, breaks my heart.
I apologize for the downer of a newsletter. It’s been a difficult time. I’ll probably write more about this in a separate article.
With that aside, we have wonderful articles this week. Take a moment and look at our talented writers, and what they have to say.
This is your chance to catch up on any articles you missed this week:
“Years ago I ended up in a serious relationship with a narcissist. At the beginning, he was sweet and charming but slowly the facade fell away and I was left with someone who believed that I was nothing without him.”
“After three marriages, I’ve unlearned the unattainable myths our society holds for relationships. In fact, these idealized notions can make a couple’s relationship more unhealthy.”
“I was at the top of my mood. I had no idea what was waiting for me up there. My best friend’s house was only a few minutes’ walk away from mine.”
“Not shaving, not looking pretty for anyone, not desiring to marry or have children are being normalized — and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.”
“I’m tired, a bit pissed, and perhaps even hungry. Yeah, beneath all of that, I might be a little bit horny, but since I’m in survival mode, that excitement will die down.”
“When you are the ‘nice’ person with the can-do attitude, and if your boundaries aren’t strong then you can attract just as much bad as you can good.”
“There are things that he could have said in those moments that would have not only made me feel better, but strengthened our relationship, and eliminated the need for the bear trap analogy altogether.”
“I was responsible for becoming emotionally healthy if I were to want an emotionally healthy relationship. I couldn’t change the men I was partnered with, but I could change my decisions about who I decided to have as a partner.”
“When I was young, before the prevalence of mobile phones and social media, ghosting was so normal, there wasn’t even a word for it. If you had met someone once or twice and didn’t like them then that was the end of that.”
“I headed for dad’s bedroom… the only vacant area. But, I never made it. My dad’s friend followed me down the hall, shoved me into the bathroom, and locked the door.”
“In today’s world where comparison and the competition to appear our “best selves” is abundant, how does one go about avoiding falling into the trap?”
“Grocery shopping posed no threat. The abusive dynamic of my relationship … therein lies the threat. My brain caught on and protected me. I learned to avoid shopping to avoid abuse.”
“I started making plans in case I died and my daughter had nobody to take care of her. I worried about my two adult sons and how they would feel if the virus killed me, and it broke my heart several times over.”
We appreciate you, our reader, for making The Virago successful. It’s because of you that we write about our experiences. We have so many stories to tell, so keep reading!
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