There’s Still So Much to Talk About
But for once, I’m feeling human
Information is nothing without context. That’s what I try to remind myself when my brain bombards me with itty-bitty-bits and pieces of everything at the same time.
Some things just don’t go well together. Like sushi with a glass of milk…or moments of terror mixed with fragments of deliberate kindness from a former abuser. I’d rather not, period. End of sentence.
But of course, that’s not how life works. That’s not how anything works, really. I am reminded of a million somebodies from a past life whispering that “things” don’t get better. And if I’m being honest, that’s the truth.
Things don’t get better. But we do.
Right now, I am working two jobs. Working, always. Working hard. And I am tired.
That’s what I tell my psychiatrist, and then I laugh because it’s true. I am tired, but I am alive, and I feel as though I am living.
This week, for the first time, I told my psychiatrist that I felt happy. I texted a friend that I was happy. I listened to the sound of the words as they entered the air.
Happy.
And I laughed again, this time, out of amazement. Amazement because the words were true, and I never expected this to be a truth…
