What 6 Years of Being Polyamorous Taught Me — and Why I’m Choosing Monogamy Now
I’ve become a relationship expert and I’m creating my version of success
Three years ago, I never thought I’d ever be monogamous again… or dating a man, for that matter. Monogamy meant lying about feelings and attraction, feeling owned, and closing off to new experiences. No, thank you. Never again.
In 2017, I left an abusive monogamous partnership with a man, though I had no idea what was happening. Monogamy meant unaddressed attachment style struggles, codependency labeled as romance, and suffering in the name of cultural rightness. If that was the Christian American dream I’d been living, I never wanted to do that again.
Enter a free-spirited man with long hair and the “Open Marriage” book I found at the used bookstore. Wait, people really can live like this? And it’s even healthy? And not worthy of burning in hellfire for all eternity…?
My new working polyamory definition meant space for curiosity and growth, clarified expectations and needs, and the freedom to expand organically and authentically. Yes. That’s what I wanted. This was better. Way better.
Before that abusive partnership, I’d been eagerly studying romance. I immersed in expert advice, read tons…
