When Therapy Enables Abuse
No, it doesn’t always take ‘two to tango’
Life is not fair. Fifty-fifty propositions are illusory. There are always power differentials and shortcomings. Ideals of perfection are a pipe dream. Ideologies always get corrupted. It’s crucial to tolerate these shortcomings. Doing so puts our human trials and tribulations in perspective.
Acceptance of ‘what is’ assists us with sensibly distinguishing what can or cannot be accommodated, tolerated and bargained with. From this place we can cultivate stringent standards and conditions that are critical to mental health.
That said, when I learned that my client’s couples therapist upholds the naive notion that all relational assaults are dynamically caused by both partners and are to be rectified through mutual responsibility, my blood boiled. Suggesting that every viscious outburst and betrayal was legitimately ignited by some arbitrary provocation, sent the message that no mater how egregious the harm, somehow culpability was always shared. Such archaic notions view marital rape a misnomer and women and children as property. Ironically the couple at hand are lesbians. Clearly antiquated oppressive views infiltrate all stratum of society.
In clinical circles, where therapists are relied upon to model and uphold healthy accountability and realistically…
