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Women’s Resentment in Marriage
Its alarming frequency and some hope for the future.
“Widowhood Was Escape, Freedom, a New Life.”
My mom once told me how someone from her women’s group at church announced that her husband had died, which unsurprisingly triggered pity and sympathy from everyone, but also a glimmer of envy.
“Envy?” I asked, incredulous of these reactions and how nonchalantly my mother was reporting this.
She went on to say that she assumed some resentment in the sacrifices and responsibilities demanded of a woman in a traditional, heterosexual marriage. Not that any of them wanted their husbands to die, but still, at the back of their minds, lingered some form of relief at the thought of not having to be responsible for cleaning up after him, providing the emotional labor that keeps the household and marriage going, etc.
I never imagined this. Not the general idea of women resenting husbands — I’ve even imagined if I ever would, how I’d push for equality in household responsibilities and emotional labor and wonder if that would be enough to offset millennia of gender roles.
But I’m pretty liberal and identify as a feminist. I didn’t expect these thoughts to come from women ranging in age from perhaps 40 to 80, mostly…
