Woundology: Stop Using Your Past To Define Your Life
Let me say this first: I was abused for many years in my marriages. And before that, in my childhood. For much of my life, I was a victim of abuse.
This created for me what is well-known as PTSD: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because of abuse, I’ve experienced grief, anxiety, and depression throughout my life triggered by my upsetting memories.
I’ve focused on this fact, that I was abused for such a long time by many different people at different times in my life.
Once I got out of my abusive cycle for good, I felt that life had dealt me the shitty end of the stick. I carried that trauma around with me. I was successful in many other aspects of my life; career, money, motherhood, or setting personal goals. But this intimate relationship thing was the part of me that failed miserably.
I shared my wounds with everyone I knew. I was open with my anger about my failures and unfairness with the world. I developed a ”Woundology”. This became my persona. It defined me. I felt this was a good way for me to heal myself.
It wasn’t.
“We think we’re living in the present, but we’re really living in the past.” ~John Banville