Your Narcissist Needs to Keep You Distracted

Can’t think clearly? That’s exactly what they want

Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

When I was living alone for the summer in which I left my husband (after my messy, all-consuming, entirely regrettable affair), I remained in touch — at first — with my extramarital lover.

This is how that went.

On the night that our affair was discovered, he held my hands tightly and he said to me, looking into my eyes, “Listen to me. This is the horrendous bit. This bit is going to be awful. But we have to stay strong. We win, at the end of this. We WIN. We get each other.”

I sat in front of him, broken, and I thought — yes. Yes, you are probably right. This is the point where things are broken to make stronger, better new things. I have read about this sort of process. Through the fire of adversity, or something like that, we will forge an unbreakable loving bond. Or something like that. I fell asleep that night still crying but feeling some kind of resolve.

The next morning, I saw him again. He said (when he saw that my eyes were swollen closed and purple from crying), “You know, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you look ugly.”

He said “You know. This is all very unfair on our children.”