We can pave the way.
What was it like being the first black woman to attend Epicurrence?
My dad dropped me to the airport, he squeezed me tight and told me to “Be safe”. I knew he was worried for the same reason I was. I was heading across the country to attend a prominently white tech event where I could count on one hand the amount of people I knew were attending. My hands were sweaty, my mind was racing and my heart was pounding. I had no idea what this trip was going to be like, how I would be accepted or even how I would be treated. Excited and nervous, I boarded my plane to attend this epic adventure in Lake Tahoe, CA for Epicurrence as the first Black Woman UX Designer.
For those who may not be aware, Epicurrence is a tech event where designers and creatives from all over the world come together to build genuine connections as well as have discussions with the top people in the industry. It is curated to take away the feeling of ‘work’ and create an atmosphere of relaxation and honestly, pure fun. I had the opportunity to win a full sponsorship from the design agency, UENO., based on my passion for UX design and desire as a woman of color in tech to create diversity and inclusion for such an exclusive event.
Everyone showed their excitement and happiness for my acceptance and sponsorship; however, some were nervous and even worried for me and I understood why. My fellow people of color in tech (POCIT) were worried I would be “tokenized” and were rallying in the background to stand behind me if anything went astray. The idea of tokenization was brought to me for the fear that white people may label me as “the black girl”. They didn’t want to me to feel pressured to be the chosen advocate or become vulnerable due to the uncertainty of success and left hurt by the outcome.
I completely understood this notion and was grateful to be even made aware ahead of time about this potential issue but on the other hand, I disagreed. Although I have no intention to be tokenized, I am okay if it happens for right now. My goal is to make sure it will not be forever. As people of color in tech, we have all been tokenized at some point in life and we can either let it hold us down or let it open doors. Being the first one to break barriers is okay because I understand that once I get into this space, I will be fighting to make a difference for not just myself, but for everyone.
There has been much debate on diversity and inclusion within Epicurrence. From a conversation with Dann Petty, founder of Epicurrence, he let me know his truth. Until Epicurrence, he had never fully understood the depth of diversity in the tech space but it made him more aware. He knew he wanted to do something about it, but wasn’t sure how. A passion grew from his lack of knowledge, choices, and interactions and now he was dedicated to making it a primary focus at Epicurrence.
Before Epicurrence, Dann, and I had been working closely together to find people of color in tech who would enjoy this event and also serve on a panel to discuss diversity and inclusion. He and I were both determined that even though I may have been the first Black woman to attend Epicurrence, I would not be the last.
I appreciated the sincerity and transparency between both my POCIT and Dann. This conversation is often very difficult. At some point in our lives, we have all circled around the subject because it makes people uncomfortable and with good reason. We are afraid of the repercussions. It’s time to get uncomfortable and do something about it. The lack of diversity and inclusion in the tech space has actually divided some people to feel like it’s irreparable or that there are no solutions that anyone can offer. There are actually plenty. Companies that are 11+ years are still struggling with diversity and inclusion and within Epicurrence’s first year, Dann made a conscious decision to do his best to seek change. It’s more than a small step in the right direction.
Being a part of epicurrence was one word — epic. From meeting Katie Dill, the woman whose Head of Experience Design at Airbnb, to meeting young innovative product/UX designers from Europe, Canada and the U.S., the interactions I had were life-changing. The best part of Epicurrence was the feeling of belonging. Although, there were only a handful of people of color that attended, all my worries were exhausted when I realized that everyone cared more about my design process than the color of skin. I felt welcomed in every conversation, at every table, and even doing sports like snowboarding and skiing. I must add that I only fell about four times when snowboarding which I’ve heard is pretty great! lol.
During the Tuesday night discussion, Helena Price moderated a panel of designers and creatives, including myself, to lead a discussion about diversity and inclusion in tech. It was one of the most diverse panel of participants I had ever seen. Epicurrence asked a level of trust and privacy amongst each other which created a safe space to talk freely and honestly. People chose to be raw and intimate about their experiences. We left ourselves vulnerable but in doing so it showed our daily realities. I’m sure that some people probably walked in with the notions of this would be a “forced” conversation or even the question whether or not this talk was necessary. However, the response we received was one that left me almost speechless.
As I looked around the room, I saw our stories really resonated with people and some faces that were once slightly bored turn to awe and wonder. Heads nodded and you could see glances of understanding exchanged from across the tables. A woman gave me an encouraging smile after I spoke and I knew that what we were saying wasn’t falling on deaf ears. It was evident that because of the lack of color in the room we understood that there is a need to increase diversity. At the end of this discussion, you understood what diversity means to sustain the community in this increasingly diverse world.
In any other space, I don’t think this would have happened. I don’t think people would have been open to the vulnerability and honesty that was being shown on stage or even up for what they might have assumed would be a tiresome debate. Don’t get me wrong; people asked some difficult questions. Even I asked the audience difficult questions. Questions that I knew my community wanted answers to. Happy to say, my eyes lit up with the responses I received. The panel represented the awareness and urgency of which we needed solutions. Even ways on how we can act on them. Everyone, including myself, left that room, feeling different. You could feel it. It was powerful.
From this discussion, I remembered when I volunteered for World Information Architecture Day (WIAD) in NYC this year. Svetlana Kouznetsova, a deaf designer for accessibility, said something amazing during her speech that forever stayed with me.
You shouldn’t tell someone they inspire you and do nothing with that inspiration. Your statement then holds no weight. Charge yourself to do better with your newfound inspiration, even if it is in the smallest of ways.
I challenged myself every day to always doing something small. If it’s in diversity or inclusion or even usability and accessibility. I took a step during this weekend not just for me but for every black woman designer that questioned if they could even fit in at an event like Epicurrence. I am a new designer in the user experience world and I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry my heart out when I got back home. I cried tears of joy because before this event, I questioned my worth as a designer. I wondered if I could ever make it in this tech world where I couldn’t even get an interview because someone couldn’t pronounce my name?
Being at Epicurrence changed that for me. People took the time to not only learn my name but to learn who I was as a person. There is no doubt in my mind that I belong here. Whether or not, I had a good or bad experience, I know I would have still felt the same. There is a need for people like me and I’m more than happy to take that space. More events of this caliber need to happen and we can use them to move towards bridging the gap of diversity and inclusion in tech. I want my community to feel how I felt and witness genuine windows of opportunity. I feel blessed to have had this experience show me the passion, encouragement and awareness that the design and tech industry CAN have from within all communities.
All we have to do is start small and let it grow. We can pave the way to not only take people out of their elements but give them a reason to never give up.
I have sincerely made countless friendships that I didn’t know could exist within all communities of the tech world. That is all because of Epicurrence.
Never Give Up. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and you CAN do it.
Thank you Epicurrence… till next time.
