Michiganders Ted Nugent, Kid Rock Pressure NBA Commissioner to Not Count Pistons’ Record-Tying Loss
On their way back from a hunting trip Saturday, Michigan natives Ted Nugent and Kid Rock called up NBA Commissioner Adam Silver and tried to pressure him to not count that night’s record-tying loss by the Detroit Pistons, according to an ear-piercing audio recording reviewed by The Washington Boast and reported here for the first time.
After the team’s 26th consecutive loss, the duo sought out Silver’s number by first reaching out to Kanye West, who in turn contacted Dallas Mavericks guard Kyrie Irving.
Once connected with Silver, they got right to the point.
“Just look at all the evidence showing that this game never existed, that whoever says they watched it was actually watching a simulated game of 2K24,” Rock pleaded. “We’ve got to fight for our team. We can’t let these Brooklyn Nets take our pride away from us!”
Rock then promised Silver that he’d “take care” of him if he wanted to attend a show on his upcoming “Fuck You” tour.
“We’ve been cheated out of Cade Cunningham’s play-making abilities,” Nugent added, “and everybody knows the front office is stubborn as hell! But really, how can you approve a score where you have more people with paper bags over their heads than not?”
Yet Tom Christie of Las Vegas’ BetMGM Sportsbook warned that voiding Detroit’s loss would illegally interfere with tens of thousands of bets.
“You just can’t take away people’s money like that when it was won fair and square. The American people have the privilege to gamble — in appropriate jurisdictions, of course — and this will just set them off like never before,” he said. “If Silver gives in, you’re looking at a minimum of $10 million in legal damages and broken drywall repairs.”
Meanwhile, a majority of fans aren’t convinced by what Rock and Nugent are selling.
“It makes me regret having bought some of their albums,” said a Detroit fan named Dave, who declined to provide his last name for fear of retribution by those who still support the pair. “And I worry about the future. I mean, are they going to keep doing this each time the streak gets longer? Don’t they have something better to do?”
Early Sunday morning, fellow Michiganders Madonna and Eminem placed a call of their own Silver, saying of Rock and Nugent: “They should not be trusted, no matter how many Grammys they have. Oh, zero? Wow. Crazy.”
