Don’t Sweat the BIG Stuff !
Staying sexy in the Anthropocene….
Forget the polar bears. And you don’t even have to forget about (because you never knew about)the countless other, less charismatic species nearing extinction due to climate change. Nor do you really care about (for you can’t even imagine)the drought-stricken farmers or the Pacific islanders losing their homes to rising sea levels. They’re all abstractions.
But what about moi? you ask.
Dreading the record heat predicted for this summer. That’s what you’re doing, dreading specifically:
Makeup running.
Thighs chafing.
And worst of all, unsightly pit stains on my white blouses.
But you can just keep my arms down and no one will notice. That’s what you tell yourself, but you can’t fight human nature and so you worry and worry and make yourself miserable. And cosmetic companies know how to play to our anxieties, don’t they?
According to Nivea, 77% of women “feel sexier when their underarms look good.” And the solution to your unsexy armpits? Nivea’s new deodorant, naturally, that gives women better-looking underarms in five days.”
And then there’s this from a well-respected beauty consultant: You’ve been applying underarm deodorant all wrong your entire life. Your typical morning no doubt reads like this: get up, pee, pick out clothes, shower, put on deodorant, do hair and makeup, get dressed, go out door.
But the deodorant part you’ve got all wrong: You should actually be applying deodorant before bed the night before.
Here’s why: Antiperspirant works by clogging sweat ducts, which stops moisture from escaping your body. By applying at night (when skin is drier and sweat glands are less active), the antiperspirant has time to do said clogging.
Hey, now, isn’t that a fun fact to know?
Isn’t it great? Humans, unlike other poor species, are so adaptable when it comes to climate change….
A change caused by humans… by everyone… by all of us…yet by no one specifically. So I can’t be held personally responsible, and neither can you… can we?
With our deodorant properly applied, the planet’s future is under control!
Author’s note: My day job in banking focuses on financial instruments to help offset carbon use. My writing adventures — feuilletons — typically explore that forever strange,uncharted territory where the very personal meets the oh-so political. Your love — in the form of “hearts” — is always appreciated!
