Advice Column Ed. 2: love, lust, and asking out your crush
I would like to begin by saying welcome back, everyone, from the Weekly Hoot Advice Column’s unprecedented three-month hiatus. My apologies, I blame my lack of free block and motivation for this one. But it is the dawn of a new semester, I am here now, and the submissions have been piling up. As promised (89 days ago), here are some words on love….
And as always, if you find yourself in need of some advice, please feel welcome to leave us a submission in our submission box, located in the Student Center.
— — —
Dear Weekly Hoot,
Can’t tell whether I like someone or I’m just lonely/touch starved and WANT to like them.
-Anonymous
Anonymous this is a very good question. I think this is a situation that many people deal with, but especially with us as young people still being new to navigating love and relationships, it is a very sincere concern. I’ve been there before.
I would say continue to get to know them, and explore. Granted, doing this tends to make me wary of “leading them on.” But if you’re sincerely trying to figure yourself out emotionally, don’t worry about that. Give yourself the time and space to explore, it will be best for both of you in the long run.
And at the end of the day, I’m sure you’ve had a crush before. You know those butterflies. Remember those butterflies, and really ask yourself if you’re feeling them the same way now. And I think you will know.
Sincerely,
The Weekly Hoot
— — —
Dear Weekly Hoot,
How do I talk to women?
-anonymous
Respectfully.
Sincerely,
The Weekly Hoot
— — —
Dear Weekly Hoot,
I think I’m in love. We don’t talk much, especially because he’s at a different school, but he’s kind, funny, and handsome.
How do I get over him?
(Or get him to fall in love with me?)
-Sad and in Love
Hi Sad and in Love. Talk to him more! I am sure he is just as nervous and uncertain as you might be. And if the reciprocation is lacking, realize you deserve a more fitting man who will appreciate you the way you deserve, and can hold a conversation that stretches further than “bet” and “gang gang”.
If things aren’t going the route of romance, just keep your head up princess (or prince), don’t let that tiara fall. Time heals almost all wounds.
Sincerely,
The Weekly Hoot
— — —
Dear Weekly Hoot,
How do I tell someone I like them?
-Anonymous
Explicitly — PLEASE. You are young, you little spring chicken. Be young and spontaneous and tell them upfront. Live a little. Shoot your shot. Best case you land yourself a sweet S.O…worst case you fall flat on your face — and what? build a little character? Seems there’s nothing to lose. Can you even fathom how much more exciting life would be if we were just honest about these things?
Okay fine, I might not practice what I preach here either. Maybe walking right up and letting the secret slip doesn’t sound too appealing. So send a text. Slip a note. Tell through a friend. Drop hints by appearing wherever they seem to be and laughing much too hard at their jokes until they catch on.
The moral here is that it doesn’t matter how. Just as much as it might be fun to rip off the band-aid and be brave with it, never feel ashamed to take a more quiet approach. It won’t make it any less special to you. But if you want this, just try.
Sincerely,
The Weekly Hoot
— — —
Dear Weekly Hoot,
How do I get someone to like me?
-Anonymous
Anonymous, this question is tricky because — you don’t. You can’t get someone to like you if they don’t. Sad but true. But I have a meaningful answer to this question anyway, so listen.
What you should be doing is finding ways to show them who you really are. This task is so, so hard, and I struggle with it myself all the time. It becomes infinitely harder if you have feelings for a person too. But in any way you can, show them you. Your passions, your quirks, your stories, and your personality. This feels straightforward, but it isn’t. We as human beings are extremely beautiful, complex creatures with intricate levels. Getting to know yourself in an intimate way is a complete challenge of its own, but then taking that entire personhood and sharing it with someone else through bits and pieces is a monstrous task. Focus on that. Focus on showing them you.
This is the best way to get a person to like you. And if they don’t, after all that, they really might not be the right person, time or place for you and your beautiful personhood. This can be awful; incompatibility and ill-timing is a curse. But knowing yourself and your needs is far more important. You’re worth that.
(And this concludes both this advice column edition and my hefty self-love spiel of the day. Thank you for your time.)
Sincerely,
The Weekly Hoot
— — —
Thank you for your wonderful submissions! If you have not seen a response, check back again next time. For advice, submit something to our box and it will be answered next week!
