The PSAT

For four glorious hours on October 16th, the sophomores and juniors piled into the gym for the PSAT. I, too, additionally, also was one of these attendees. Several types of test-takers were reported to have entered the building on this fine day. There was the lucky group… the ones who weren’t enrolled in zero period or whose zero period had been canceled. The next group came inside checking around corners, making sure not to bump into the teacher whose class they’d just skipped. Then came the few zero-period attendees with dark circles under their eyes. And finally, the most accomplished of them all, the students who came to the test without the one thing they needed to take it: a number two pencil.

There was a lot of information to be filled out before and after the test itself. I don’t think you quite realize how long your address is until you have to bubble in every single letter. Students put down home addresses, emails, phone numbers… if the FBI ever shows up at your door, you know they’re in cahoots with the College Board. Students then joined in a few rounds of the game, “Who can squint hard enough to see the address at the front of the gym,” which was interrupted sporadically by, “Why is our testing room code a word when we can only bubble in numbers?”

If there was one area in which we had been prepared across the board, it was that we had brought snacks. However, neither those nor water were allowed inside the testing area, leaving everyone to suffer like [REDACTED] when the [REDACTED] went off to [REDACTED]. The reading sections were particularly gruesome in this regard, as we were forced to read about [REDACTED] and the [REDACTED] that only [REDACTED] know how to [REDACTED]. And the math sections? Many of us felt like we were [REDACTED] for [REDACTED] as we tried to remember our fourth-grade math.*

A highlight of the whole experience was the epic monologues performed by the proctors. There was a particularly good section on how students are in no way allowed to share information about the PSAT that the student body found hilarious. And of course, the last paragraph earned a standing ovation… as everyone stood up and moved out of the gym to freedom.

But it’s ok! The most important thing is that there were minimal casualties, and we were able to spend the rest of the day scrolling through PSAT memes. Looking forward to our next test in 11 months, with the hope that there’s going to be some stuff to laugh about. Oh, and by the way, the College Board might want to take on the challenge of making bubbling-in fun.

*Apologies to those who were not lucky enough to take the test this year… we can’t share more information because STUDENTS ARE IN NO WAY ALLOWED TO SHARE INFORMATION ABOUT THE PSAT. If I do, my scores may be cancelled and I didn’t go through 4 hours of torture for nothing. You’ll have to wait your turn.