Clyde Lowstuter — Be the Best Version of Yourself: Be Authentic
What could you achieve if you could relate to anyone?
Who?
Clyde is a peak performance Executive Coach and CEO of R|L. He has been a visionary thought leader and pioneer in the field since 1975. Insatiably curious and resourceful, Clyde enables executives to unleash more of their capabilities and confidence. He has been awarded the MCC, Master Certified Coach, from the International Coach Federation, the top certification awarded to less than 1% of coaches worldwide.
Why?
Because Clyde has been on a lifelong quest to understand what makes people successful, he is not afraid to ask thoughtful and penetrating open-ended questions that challenge you to observe the way you think and behave. It’s motivated me to be more open to connecting with myself and others.
Clyde’s Epiphany on Victimization 😱
The interview begins with Clyde’s profound realization that harboring any feelings of victimization, even 1%, actually limits your ability to behave differently or change positively.
“As long as I was blaming my boss, even 1%, I blamed him, that meant that I was not in total control, I was not taking 100% of accountability for my life, and the way I behaved.
From that learning, and from that experience, I went on to other global companies.”
After that self-discovery, Clyde used his next two opportunities as an executive learning laboratory to answer questions like why people get in and get out, why do people get in conflict, and, more importantly
… how do you get out of it?
Q: What adaptive shifts do you take to relate to a person with a completely different behavior style?
Robertson Lowstuter (R|L)
Clyde is always doing experiments to gain insights into why he behaves a certain way. His learnings have led him to publish multiple books and start his firm that enables executives to significantly enhance their performance by successfully managing those critical blockages and accelerants to success. In essence,
We help people immediately take charge and improve their careers.
“What we do here is help individuals be more cognizant. We work with senior executives and their leadership teams to be
more effective, more powerful, more collaborative, and more synergistic.“
Here are some questions that Clyde might ask you:
- Who are you?
- What is your behavioral style?
- How does that work well for you?
Check out the firm’s Core Beliefs and blog for more key insights into the fascinating world of executive coaching and share your thoughts!
On Guard! 🐢
In Clyde’s quest to understand why he thinks and behaves the way he does, he talks about a learning modality he employs and one that I found incredibly insightful.
Creating a healthy relationship starts with being open and unafraid to apologize and admit when you’ve been defensive.
Clyde describes defensiveness not as the penetrable shell that it seems but rather an “Open door with no constraints” because people easily see and feel when you’re defensive, in the face and body language.
Q: If everyone knows you’re defensive and what’s creating it, then what’s the use of being defensive?
For you: Here’s some additional reading on defensiveness.
Trust & Authenticity
One word that always comes up in my conversations with Clyde is authenticity.
Wait. What does this have to do with defensiveness?
“One of the things about this whole idea of turning defensiveness on its head is understanding the radical trust you have with others”.
When you have trust in others, you empower them to make decisions without your input. This principle applies to both your professional and personal relationships.
And so, what does this have to do with authenticity?
Clyde believes the more authentic individuals are, the closer and safer they feel. When people are their authentic selves, you can feel and know whether they have your best interests in mind, which builds trust.
Here are Clyde’s three keys to transforming any relationship(link):
- Be the Best Version of Yourself: Be Authentic
- Be Transparent
- Master Behavioral Agility
You get what you create 🙏🏽
I’m fascinated by learning strategies and asking people what theirs are because it tells a story about their life.
“Some of the most powerful learning strategies are the most simple, right?
It’s like gravity, boom it exists.“
Clyde answered my question by covering some of his Core Beliefs or Operating Tenets that help guide him. He equates these operating tenets to emergency signals in a car where you’re the car. My favorite from his shortlist is you get what you create.
This reminded me that there’s always something to gain by putting 100% into whatever you’re currently working on, regardless of whether you are passionate about the project.
I highly recommend Clyde’s incredible book, 35 Truths: Lessons from the Front Lines of Executive Coaching. And please do check out the interview because we explore other insightful topics like how to deal with bullies.
☝️ Here are your questions for the week:
- Are you playing the victim card? If it’s not helping you, why keep it up?
- What if the next time you got defensive you stopped, took a step back, and admitted it? Be insatiably curious about your behavior!
- Imagine you gave your current project your best effort? What could you get in return for your effort?
Love,
Emiliano
The Weekly Nudge, and thank you for the share!
