Do you have your eclipse plans? Oh, people are hyped about this eclipse, man. Every hotel room and every rental car in the state of Oregon is booked. People are coming from all over the country to see the sun be blocked for three minutes like they’ve never heard of fucking night time.
That’s what it is. Something is blocking your view of the sun. A local paper ran a story, “What happens if it’s cloudy during the eclipse?” Then you just have a better eclipse!
Whenever I go to the beach, I use an umbrella to make my own eclipse. I’m inside right now and it’s eclipse o’clock all day. Oh god, I just closed my eyes. Turns out THE ECLIPSE WAS INSIDE ME THE WHOLE TIME.