The Fair Weather Fan

I’m new to watching sports. I never really thought they were for me, and the main reason is people kept telling me you have to support your team through thick and thin. When they’re good and when they’re bad. But recently what I’ve realized is… you don’t have to do that.

You can just support a team through thick! (Or thin, I guess. Not sure which is the good one. Thick frosting= good. Wheat Thin=good. Thin frosting on a Wheat Thick=Hard no.)

This is my very important discovery: You can support a team only when they’re good. It’s fine. It’s fine! I’m a fair weather and it’s great. Because I realized that something else I like is… fair weather. It’s the best weather!

Do you like the beach? Oh yeah? Do you like it during a lightning storm? THEN YOU’RE NOT A TRUE BEACH FAN.

See? It’s bullshit! Be a fair weather beach fan. You deserve it.

Like a team when they’re good, ignore them when they’re bad. Just like you can be a Star Wars fan but not sit through the Christmas Special. You can just enjoy the two good Star Wars movies (oh, troll opinion! Which two??)

The other thing that I discovered is I can ignore sports games but watch the highlights. It’s an amazing that you’re just allowed to watch the exciting 2 minutes of a three hour TV program. Nothing else is like that.

“In Greek tragedy today, Oedipus goes in for the kiss and OH IT’S HIS MOM. UNBELIEVABLE.”

“Oedipus played pretty well today, Jim, but he ended up losing that one. And now in music, here are just the guitar solos.”

meedely meedely bwoowawoowawoo!
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