The Show Needn’t Go On

I love live music. I’ll see almost any band live, and even if it’s not my style, I just love watching music get made. But there’s one specific moment in every concert that completely ruins the whole thing: that part where the band pretends the show is over even though every single person in the building knows it’s not really over.

They put on this little play. “Verily, thou hast been a grand audience, but anon, we must retire. Thou mightst wonder why we have not played our one hit song, but fear not! I confess if thou dost clap enough, we will be persuaded against our inclinations to return hence, and play for thee the one song you came to hear. WINK WINK WINK”

I hate it so much, that charade. You’re not fooling anyone, bands! You say the show is over? Then why did your techs immediately run out on stage and tune up the guitars, set up a new piano, and tape a new playlist to the ground that says “Encore” on it?? It’s so silly.

I don’t want what they’re having.

And why do we have to clap to get the end of your show anyway. Bands need to knock it off with the Tinkerbell shit, if we don’t clap enough, they’re going to die. I shouldn’t have to prove through my clapping that I’ve earned the rest of your show. You know how I earned? I paid. for. the. show.

That’s right. I paid $12 plus $75 in taxes & fees… I should get the whole show.

That’s a normal exchange. Money for a ticket. Bands are the only performance that charges you in LOVE to get the end of a performance. There’s a reason when I play your album on Spotify, it doesn’t stop at the bridge and then I have to click Thumbs Up 7 times to hear the final chorus.

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