8 Things You Shouldn’t Do With an Ouija Board

Alexandria Ducksworth
Aug 25 · 5 min read

The Ouija board: the best communication device to stay in touch with your loved ones beyond the grave? Eh, probably not. You’re more than likely to hit up the spicy incubi-succubi hotline from this family-friendly board game.

Parker Brothers acquired the Ouija board years ago, joining Monopoly and Risk. The Kennard Novelty Company sold the talking board game in the late 19th century for about $1.50. The company founders noticed spiritualism was a hot button trend at the time and took advantage of it.

Nowadays, scientists and skeptics claim spirits are nowhere involved with the board, only humans. When people believe their grandma is speaking to them, it’s only their involuntary muscles moving the board. This is called the ideomotor effect.

A study in 1972 revealed people will make up anything to fit their imaginations. Scientists told their test subjects about a deceased individual named “Philip” before playing with the Ouija board. The truth: Philip’s not real.

“The Philip Experiment” (via Youtube)

During gameplay, the subjects believed they made contact with Philip as the planchette moved on its own (so to speak).

Meanwhile, there are strong believers who are attracted to the board or too creeped out to do anything with it. There are countless books, videos, and articles from people sharing their creepy experiences with it.

The Ouija board has become so popular it has made its appearances in movies like The Exorcist (1973), Ouija (2014), and Satan’s Blood (1978). Churches are warning people to stay away from the board due to occult activity. 700 Club’s Pat Robertson doesn’t want people chatting with demons.

If you’re still curious about the Ouija board, whether you think it’s real or fake, here are eight things you shouldn’t do with it (according to the internet).

1. Play with the Ouija Board in a Cemetery

Cemeteries are obvious hotspots of spiritual activity. However, you never know whom you may come in contact with.

Besides, cemeteries have their opening and closing hours. Respect them. The last place you want to be is a jail cell. Why?

Security caught you past midnight asking your late Grandpa Willis the location of his lost buried safe.

2. Ask the Spirit to Show Itself

Do you like crapping in your pants?

Asking the spirit to show up is a definite no-no. The last thing you want is your ghoul buddy haunting your home, scaring your dog, and eating your leftover pizza. Now, you have to call Father Thomas to cast away the pesky ghost (if it doesn’t possess you first).

3. Let the Planchette Roam Around the Board

If the planchette roams back and forth on the board on its own, say your goodbyes immediately. The spirit is attempting to escape.

Ghosts can get bored in the afterlife. They see you have Disney Plus and will do anything to break the dimensional barriers.

4. Finish the Ouija Board Without Saying Goodbye

Spirits may linger if you don’t say your proper goodbyes. Communicating through the Ouija board is like talking to a kind stranger on the street. You don’t abruptly walk away from them when you’re done talking. Don’t leave your spirit hanging.

You don’t want to wake up with a ghost beside you asking if your date from last night went well or not.

5. Call Zozo

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“Pazuzu” via (Wikimedia)

The first prominent news of the demon Zozo started with Darren Evans in 2009. Meeting the evil spirit through the board led to his child “almost” drowning in a bathtub.

After Evans’ scary encounter, thousands of people reported their Zozo stories all over the web. There’s even a Ghost Adventures episode about it.

Some sources claim Zozo may be the ancient Mesopotamian god Pazuzu. Demonologist Jacques Collin de Plancy (1793–1881)wrote about Zozo in his book, Dictionaire Infernal (French, non-translated). He records a time when three demons possessed a little girl. One of them was named Zozo.

How do you know if Zozo is trying to hit you up? Your planchette swings from “Z” to “O” multiple times. That’s your cue to swipe goodbye and call it a day.

6. Summon Satan

Why? Like with Zozo, don’t do it.

7. Ask the Board When You’re Going to Die

Who wants to know? Live life as much as possible.

Ghosts tend to lie through the board. They might have a kick seeing you having a panic attack when they tell you have a week to live.

Don’t depend on the Ouija board as your portable Madame Cleo. It doesn’t know it all.

8. Burn the Board (maybe)

If you burn the Ouija board, it will scream then you’ll die a painful death. A bit extreme, but okay. Apparently, you’re supposed to cut the board into pieces, bless it with holy water, and bury it.

There’s no one true way of getting rid of the Ouija board. You can simply give it to Goodwill or give it up in a yard sale. Heck, offer it to your friend who loves everything freaky.

Burning the board is a bit much. One church burned multiple Ouija boards along with a load of Harry Potter and Stephen King books. So far (as we know), those church members are still alive.

You’ll be just fine.

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“Ouija board -Kennard Novelty Company” (via Wikimedia Commons)

The Weird Closet

If you’re looking for news about ghosts, Bigfoot, UFO, and…

Alexandria Ducksworth

Written by

Writing, Gaming, Books, Strange Stuff, and more. (writerduck.wixsite.com/alexandriaducksworth)

The Weird Closet

If you’re looking for news about ghosts, Bigfoot, UFO, and whatnot, this is the place for you. ;-)

Alexandria Ducksworth

Written by

Writing, Gaming, Books, Strange Stuff, and more. (writerduck.wixsite.com/alexandriaducksworth)

The Weird Closet

If you’re looking for news about ghosts, Bigfoot, UFO, and whatnot, this is the place for you. ;-)

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