You Don’t Want to Be in Chinese Hell

Photo by Guido Jansen on Unsplash

You’ve probably read the headline thinking, “Duh, it’s hell!”

Nobody likes the idea of being tortured forever in the afterlife. I thought Dante’s Inferno’s nine circles of hell were bad enough. Boy, was I wrong.

Diyu, Chinese hell, makes Dante’s Inferno look like Disney World.

So Many Hells

via Wikimedia

Depending on which source you find, the number of hells in Diyu ranged from 18 to 84,000. 10 kings ruled a level in this ghastly underworld:

1. King Qinguang
2. King Chujiang
3. King Songdi
4. King Wuguan
5. King Yanluo
6. King Biancheng
7. King Taishan
8. King Dushi
9. King Pingdeng
10. King Zhuluan

King Qinguang judged souls who were either good or bad in their mortal lives. Those who didn’t do so well watched their sins replayed in a magic mirror. After that, they were sent to a lower level of hell depending on their crime whether it was murder, theft, rape, etc.

Crimes also included:

· Kidnapping little boys

· Being a worrisome wife

· Writing erotica (50 Shades of Uh-Oh)

· Drawing naughty pictures

· Not destroying obscene books

· Littering

· Not giving money to beggars

· Being a terrible physician

· Being a no-good teacher

The Punishments

via Wikimedia

Now, this is the part where everything freaking sucks.

Here are 10 reasons why you don’t want to be in Chinese hell.

1. Demons rip out your tongue for gossiping
2. Were you a shady businessman? You’ll have to climb a mountain of blades.
3. Involved in any extramarital affairs? Boiled in hot oil!
4. Abused animals? Animals abuse you.
5. You wander a town of misery for committing suicide.
6. Don’t waste food or demons will cut you down like wheat.
7. You’ll be grinded into powder for oppressing others.
8. Grave-robbing will only get you dismembered.
9. For arson, you’ll be tied to a hot copper column.
10. For escaping earthly punishment (there’s no escape).

Other crazy punishments include grasshopper attacks, repeatedly kicked by donkeys, and drowning in blood.

Wait, there’s more!

Avici: The Last Hell

Avici is reserved for souls who committed one of the Five Grave Offences:

1. Patricide

2. Matricide

3. Intentionally shedding the blood of a Buddha

4. Killing an enlightened one

5. Disrupting a Buddhist monk or nun community from enlightenment

Souls are endlessly tortured in Avici with no intermission. Their sentence lasts for eons until their bad karma wears out.

The Good News (Sort of)

“China Temple Wheel of Life” (via Pixabay)

Souls have a chance of reincarnation as humans again, animals, spirits, or hungry ghosts. After enduring their horrific trials, they meet up with Granny Meng. She gives them a special tea to forget their experience in hell and their past life.

Hopefully, they’ll do better in their next lives.

CHINESE HELL: NOT FUN

Whether you believe in Chinese hell or not, you don’t want to be punished there.

Seriously, you don’t.

Chinese Hell: Not this fun (via GIPHY)