[KJC: The Whyre: Friday 24th November]

Kritarth Jha
The Whyre
Published in
2 min readNov 25, 2017

Here’s news from the week you haven’t missed. Mostly because it didn’t happen, but also because and lets face it, who reads news anymore. And what even is news if not the odd WhatsApp forward with bright Colors and Bad Font.

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Research Confirms that the the best way to get rich is make sure you’re in your (rich) parents’ will.

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Economists vow to not make causal statements anymore. ML engineers don’t understand why that’s important.

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International union for We-Decide-What-Phrases-Really-Mean has declared that “Boys will be boys” will be redefined to mean “assholes will be assholes”.

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Flat earth society members met to discuss progress so far. With Climate Change and reactionary political right, their long held plans to flatten Earth is right on track.

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Panel of realists sat down today and they agreed as they have whenever it’s been practical for them to meet up that the motto they live by continues to be “What’s the least worst thing to do?”

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Moody’s defended it’s ratings upgrade for India. Clubbing India with Italy at Baa2, the only other country with the letter I to have a Baa2 rating. Finding food at both places equally good, they said let’s go with our gut feeling.

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Statistician who said one in three people became part of a statistic, found to have dismembered bodies in his home. Claims that he did everything he did for science. Scientists say “No”.

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Alcoholism,Cocaine consumption and self loathing increases in localities that identify with Bojack Horseman as their spirit animal.

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South Korean movie “OKJA” to now be adapted for Bollywood with a CGI cow instead of a CGI pig

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Man who complained that most yoga videos contain only women shown a video of Ramdev Baba. He now does Powerlifting instead.

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A special interview today, of a leaf which feels it’s too far from its roots.

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Man who claims he had no filter between his thoughts and his mouth found to be a New York Times Editor for South Asia.

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