Counting Time During Grief
Different ways of dealing with loss
“How’s your wife?” the old classmate asked.
“Three years, nine months, and five days,” was my brother-in-law’s response.
“Oh? An anniversary?” the classmate smiled, not catching the sadness in Mo’s voice; the grief in his eyes.
“Sort of. That’s how long it’s been since she passed away.”
That’s when I knew, in my heart, that his pain was still raw; her absence a constant reminder of what he once had.
I’ve been lost and angry…thinking I was the only one that still missed her. I was even jealous that I thought he was handling the loss better than I — moving forward, moving on. But I’m not the one “counting the days”.
I mourn the moments…60 years of moments. I never knew a day without her in my life — until suddenly she was gone. We were supposed to grow old together. And that first birthday I had, when I became older than she’ll ever be, when I became the “older” sister…crushed my soul.
The reality hit hard, but I also thought I was alone with my ever-present grief.
I still miss her every day, but I don’t count the days she’s been gone…I recount all the moments that we had.
