My Mom
She stayed alive to meet her last great-grandchild
My mom was such a stubborn woman, she held out on dying until she met her last living great-grandchild! She told me everyday prior to that for a month that she was waiting for that grandbaby to get born, no matter what she had to do to stay alive, she was going to do it! She was determined to meet him. And she did, she stayed alive long enough to see her son turn 59 and meet her grandson. In the photo she was too weak to hold him, you can see in the picture my arm is in there, she didn't have tattoos LOL.
Mom wanted to celebrate my brother's 59th birthday with a small party, and it was in August of 2020 so the pandemic was, you know, in full bloom but we decided to have a little get together anyways (because my mom insisted). My daughter had just had her son a few days earlier and wasn't planning on coming to the party but she surprised us and came. It was such a beautiful and wonderful day, my mom was glowing cause she got to see her son turned 59 and her granddaughter and great grandson came to the party and she got to meet him!
She said to me later that day that everything on her bucket list was complete now and she was very happy, but tired so she went to bed early. I went to tuck her in like I always did and she reminded me that I was supposed to start my staycation tonight, which meant I was going to sleep outside in a hammock with my husband.
Mind you, we had done this before, we pitched a tent in the backyard the summer before, I did invite her to come stay in a hammock cause I had an extra one and how much fun that would be!
Reminding her she always liked an adventure. But she said “No thanks, I'm going to stay in my bed tonight....then she said " but you can sleep with me if you want to".
I said, “Mom your bed's too small for the two of us, last time I ended up on the floor but maybe tomorrow night I will, and I'll bring some pillows in here just in case you push me off the bed again.”
She said, "it's okay, honey, you can sleep with me any night you want to." We both giggled and I hugged her and I kissed her and made sure she was comfortable. She was asleep in seconds flat with the swetest smile on her face.
I went to the hammock and went to sleep, but when I got up, my mom had passed. She was gone, she said I could sleep with her anytime I wanted, but it could never be. I had missed that opportunity and oh, how I wish I hadn't!
At least when I saw her, she looked so peaceful like she had died in the arms of Christ himself! And her posture lying on her bed was so beautiful , almost like a supermodel pose wit one arm tucked behind her head, it was the most unlike-my-mom-ever pose, she slept on her back or side only!
I could tell she didn't suffer becàuse she looked so peaceful and had this look on her face like when she would smell a flower. She truly did accomplish everything she wanted to do in life. She was ready to go home she said and home she went. I miss my mother, I miss my dad — they're both in heaven and I'll never see them here on this planet again.
I have a daughter and a grandson who I don't get to see or talk to but not because they passed but because during my initial morning phase after taking care of my mom for 5 years. Then, she being gone plus my husband had a major stroke just a few weeks later and couldn't remember who I was.
I actually went crazy from so much loss and so I relapsed after 17 years of sobriety, on drugs and as a result of that, I lost them too completely.
They live only 20 minutes away in the family home that I grew up in, but I am unwelcome and that's been 3 years which is a very long time. I miss them everyday and I pray for them everyday but I can't make somebody love me. The upside is they can't stop me from loving them. I just have to do it from a distance and I do out of respect not because there's any kind of legal involvement.
My mom would be broken-hearted over how that part turned out but I'm certain she would be proud of her granddaughter and her great grandson and me in a million other ways. Life goes on, the only constant is change and maybe someday this will change but for today it is what it is until it isn't. Rest in peace, Mom and Dad. We love you.
Isteb Grah
