THE WIND PHONE
Whatever I Should Say to a Traitor, Here It Is
I’ve been resolving this grief for a year
I never realized what was hiding beneath your surface. There were clues something was not right. But I always thought it was a certain awkwardness you would have at times. You would come off as if you were not really comfortable in your skin.
I nailed that more than I knew.
I loved you from the first time I saw you as a baby. I trusted you until the day I moved in with you, both of us getting into our senior years. Me, older than you, of course. The worst thing I could be. A senior who needed care.
We had seemed more in tune. But I didn’t realize how much that was due to you imitating me until I watched you imitate others you were talking to. How you would adjust your behavior to match who you were with. A mirror who could not stop mirroring.
Except when you couldn’t see what was in front of you. Including people. Too often, including me. I’m not talking in metaphors. I could stand a few feet in front of you in bright light. Again and again, you could not see me. Unless I said something.
I know other family members must have suspected this. No one has said a word to me. I wonder if they ever will. They have to be as…
