Sitemap
The Wind Phone

Loss, sadness, and transition is hard. Pick up the pieces and get creative. Death, near-death, divorce, loss, transitions, graveyard, cemetery, urn plans, complicated grief, hospice care, all issues related to end of life. Not accepting letters to deceased or poetry.

Member-only story

THE WIND PHONE

When I Die, Bury Me in the Backyard

Busting myths about death and considering “Green” alternatives

8 min readJun 11, 2025

--

A beautiful garden
Deposit

“Well, they’ll just have to dig him up and move him. I don’t see any other option!” said Mom.

The cemetery workers messed up and buried my brother next to my friend Cathy. She died seven months before. Her parents were upset. They wanted to be on either side of her. Clearly, my brother had to scoot over.

We were wild in the ’70s, and seatbelts were optional. It was a bad time to be a teenager, at least in terms of staying alive.

I’m impressed at how matter-of-fact Mom was about the issue. I was nineteen, and my brother was a year younger. Mom’s graciousness fell away soon enough, and she gave in to full-on depression. But in the moment? She was pragmatic and didn’t react with anger.

“Warren would have thought this was funny,” she said. It was a divine message from him.

It’s been nearly fifty years since that tragedy, and my thoughts of funerals have evolved, in part because of my brother and another thirty or so deaths.

I’ve come around to a unique way of dealing with loss and even thinking of my eventual passing. No more paint-by-number services with the 23rd Psalm and coffins…

--

--

The Wind Phone
The Wind Phone

Published in The Wind Phone

Loss, sadness, and transition is hard. Pick up the pieces and get creative. Death, near-death, divorce, loss, transitions, graveyard, cemetery, urn plans, complicated grief, hospice care, all issues related to end of life. Not accepting letters to deceased or poetry.

Debra G. Harman
Debra G. Harman

Written by Debra G. Harman

Publisher | Writer | Editor --Contact for editing projects and coaching: parasolpubs@gmail.com | The Narrative Arc | The Wind Phone | Boost Nominator

Responses (59)