4 Steps to Let Cravings Go and Break Unhealthy Habits

Dear Sugar, Our love affair is over!

I spent about 10 hours driving alone this weekend contemplating my own health habits and what I can do to improve my energy — without sugar and caffeine — improve my sleep — without wine — and prevent chronic stress from causing a catastrophic health condition.

I was fascinated thinking about how some temptations are very easy for me to avoid because I know how lousy I feel after I indulge and others are difficult for me, even though I know how lousy I feel after I indulge. Why would I put something I know makes me feel badly in my body?

We all have weaknesses — food, activity or people — that seem impossible to let go.

Maybe it was all of the heart break songs on my driving playlist — but it occurred to me — what if we wrote a breakup letter to those habits we want to kick out of our lives.

Dear Weeknight Wine,

As much as I love you, our love affair needs to end. You are wrecking my sleep. Sure you help me fall asleep, but because of you I am waking up in the middle of the night thirsty, and with the need to pee. I know you help me relax in the evening after a hectic day. But to be honest, a cup of tea might do the same.

Write a Breakup Letter to Your Unhealthy Habits

You know the kind of letter I am talking about. The kind of letter that starts with “Dear A-sh — e”. The kind of letter that you or I might never send — that tells him/her or the sugar/wine/dairy just how destructive he/she/it has been and why we are done for good. Be specific — how horrible you feel after the high of being together wears off. How you are stronger, smarter, sexier, funnier than he/she/it will ever be. How you deserve to be treated better. That you are owning your love for him/her/it — but that the relationship is too damaging to continue — because you love yourself more!

The truth is, Weeknight Wine, you are destroying my days. You zap me of my energy. When I wake up, I don’t want to get out of bed. I am disappointed in myself for letting you make me feel so lousy at a time when I need to be functioning at my best. I drink too much coffee and reach for sugar to get me through the afternoons, because you make me feel so bad. I need to take control to reach my goals, and I can’t do that with you holding me back. I don’t need you to be happy or successful.

4 Steps to an Effective Breakup Letter

1. Be Honest — Make sure that everything in your breakup letter is true, otherwise, it won’t resonate for you and have the desired effect.

2. Be Angry — Don’t be afraid to let out your anger. A better, healthier life may depend upon it. You know what I am talking about. If you don’t kick sugar to the curb now, you might be dealing with the pain of this relationship for years to come. Better to get over it now. Why would you keep seeing the guy who keeps hurting you or keep eating the sugar that’s preventing you from reaching your ideal weight, causing you chronic constipation or increasing your risk of diabetes? All the energy you spend thinking about how you shouldn’t have … (insert unhealthy habit here) … is stress that is bad for your body.

3. Keep it Handy — You are going to want to read this letter over and over again — every time you go to reach for your unhealthy habit. So be sure to keep it on your phone in your notes app or any place that will be easy to quickly access.

4. Re-read it Again and Again — It’s best if you can read the letter out loud to yourself — over and over again — until the urge to eat the food or text the jerk passes. Try reading the letter out loud while looking at yourself in the mirror.

Obviously if you’re in public when your craving hits, you can read your breakup letter to yourself. Then get on with your day and repeat the next time you get the urge to reach out for the bastard, or the bagel.

Weeknight Wine, here’s the worst part: I was starting to pine for you earlier and earlier each day. I couldn’t wait for the taste of you to reach my lips, for my shoulders to release and my relaxation to begin. That’s when I knew I had to give you up. You already took my physical energy, and then you started taking my mental energy too. You started to take more than you gave. I deserve better. I deserve to feel energetic and powerful. I need to show up for myself fully, and I can’t do that with you in my life. Get lost Weeknight Wine! Sincerely, Sober

If at first your breakup letter just helps you reduce your unhealthy habit, that’s a start. You’ll probably find that if you give into your craving after reading and re-reading your letter, it doesn’t bring you as much pleasure as it did before you wrote the breakup letter. That’s a sign you’re making a healthy shift. Stick with it. You’ll miss it less and less. Before you know it, something healthier will come along. It did for me!

Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on January 30, 2017.