It has been a minute

Hello friends. It’s been a minute.

And it will need to wait

A

Few more

As I process what happened to me

Over the past 2 years

And

How bipolar mania destroyed my life

And severely impacted the lives of those close to me

Two years ago I lived with my wife of 20 years in a 1.8 million dollar house. Three dogs. Three kids. Private school and college.

Today I live in a dump in one of Atlanta’s less desirable neighborhoods. With my gay partner. And a roommate. I drive Uber full time because my mania fucked up my professional reputation as well.

Im adjusting to a new normal. Trying to understand both my mania as well as my depressive episodes as well.

This week I learned that those with bipolar disorder tend to give up easily. Be defeatist. All. Or nothing.

Mania provides the all.

Depression deals with the consequences of nothing.

And to be clear.

Mania with psychosis.

I believed my discoveries would net me multiple Nobel prizes.

I believe the rapture had started and that the world would heal for 7 years and then we’d live for 1000 years.

I believed my r cord label would

Be bigger than Motown

It’s embarrassing to type

In mania it was easy to

Be authentic.

I didn’t care what people

Thought.

Now

I do

Once my living situation is more settled and I have functional WiFi /internet access again. I will

Write

More

Expect more nuance

And fiction pieces

Gotta use that mania

Brain for something

And one day.

Maybe.

Podcast/livestream again.