12 Strange things you do after someone you love dies

When a loved one dies, the first thing you have to do is take care of mundane stuff, like the funeral. You have to call people, take care of the paperwork, make arrangements, hire a caterer, greet mourners, and so on. This keeps you busy for at least a couple of days.

The hard part comes when the funeral ends, everybody goes home, and you’re finally left all alone with your feelings. That’s when you start doing some strange things.

  1. You start talking to the person who just died, as if he or she could hear you. At least, a part of you hopes they can.
  2. You suddenly start sobbing hysterically for no reason, like if you accidentanlly drop your cup of tea and it breaks. Crazy.
  3. You can’t sleep at night, because you keep thinking about your loved one. You keep reviewing every single memory, as if you could change something.
  4. You know you have to get rid of their clothes and stuff, but you feel guilty about it. So you either give everything to goodwill the very next day or you put off doing this for as long as you can.
  5. You hear a song that reminds you of your loved one and you start sobbing hysterically. Again.
  6. You find yourself scrolling through their Facebook profile to look through old statuses and pics. And you read your conversations on Whatsapp. More sobbing.
  7. After a few weeks, your friends call you up and ask you out, but you don’t want to go anywhere. So you either accept their invitation and spend the whole time feeling miserable, or you don’t go anywhere and also spend your time feeling miserable.
  8. You dream about your loved one. In your dream, you can see them, talk to them, hold their hand. It’s so real you can’t believe it was just a dream. But it was.
  9. Your loved one’s birthday comes around. Or the date that used to be their birthday arrives, and you have no idea what to do. Should you go about your day like it’s not a big deal? Should you grieve? Should you celebrate somehow? You end up wishing them a happy birthday on Facebook. Lame.
  10. You see something on the television that’s really hilarious, and you start thinking that you’ll talk about it with…but suddenly you remember that person is gone and you stop laughing.
  11. One day, you realize you’re laughing again, for the first time in weeks or months, and you stop yourself when you remember you lost someone. You remember the grief.
  12. You think you should let the pain go, because it gives you nothing but suffering. But you keep holding on to the sadness because you‘re really holding on to that person. And you think that if you let the pain go and start being happy again, you’ll forget them. But that’s not true. They’re gone, they’re in another world, and it doesn’t matter if you try to hold on because they’re never coming back. And then you remember that the love you shared will never fade, and that’s how they’ll go on living inside of you.

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Find me at Wonder Fabi and My Heart of Mexico.

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