How I’ve kept a happy marriage
My wedding anniversary will be here soon, and the date has remained a special day for my husband and I for many years now.
Hopefully, next year we’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. No regrets, no complaints. It’s about the only thing we feel we’ve done right in our lives.
My husband and I have messed up many things in our lives, but not our marriage. That’s probably the most successful aspect in both our lives.
But being together for almost twenty years hasn’t always been easy or even nice. Sometimes, I think the only thing that has kept us together for so long is commitment.
What about love? Love is important, of course, but there’s not much romance in the day-to-day business of maintaining a marriage. Love is the result of everything you do to keep a marriage together, but it’s not the reason couples stay together.
There, I’ve said it. Love is not the glue that holds marriages together. You might disagree on this, or you might not believe it, but hear me out.
First of all, I love my husband. He’s the most important person in my life, and my entire world. I love him with all my heart. And he loves me in the very same way.
But of course, not everything is smooth sailing. We’ve gone through many hard times in our life together, financially and emotionally. We’ve had our share of marriage crises. We’ve seriously thought about calling it quits.
However, we’re still together and a few months away from celebrating our 20th anniversary. And the one thing that’s kept us together is commitment.
We have a commitment to love each other above everything else and to keep that love alive. And that’s not always easy to do. Sometimes, it’s easier to simply take each other’s presence for granted, but we have a commitment to nourish our love for each other.
Because you should know that if you don’t do something every single day to keep the love alive, it’s going to wither away. Loving someone is hard work, there’s nothing magical about it. At least not after a few years.
Smiling, hugging, kissing, and yes, even scheduling time for sex is the effort that goes into keeping love alive. Perhaps you had a difficult day and you don’t feel like kissing anybody, but commitment says you have to kiss your spouse when you come home. So you do it. And tomorrow you will thank yourself for it.
Perhaps you had a huge argument with your spouse, and you think he or she should apologize to you, but commitment says you have to apologize first. It doesn’t matter who started or who is wrong. You have a commitment, so you say you’re sorry and that’s it.
Marriage is not a power struggle, and it’s not about who is right. It’s also not about fairy-tale endings. Marriage is about building a life together, and that takes a lot of hard work and commitment.
The commitment to keep love alive should be at the center of a marriage. And that’s something that you have to work on every single day of your life. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 2 months or 20 years, commitment is key.
Commitment is the only thing that makes love and marriage last.
Are you committed to making your marriage work or are you hoping the spark of love will somehow last for the rest of your lives?