On The Finite

May 2024

The ungodly … reasoned unsoundly, saying to themselves,

… we were born by mere chance,

and hereafter we shall be as though we had never been,

…Come, therefore, let us enjoy the good things that exist,

and make use of the creation to the full as in youth.

Let us take our fill of costly wine and perfumes,

and let no flower of spring pass us by.

Let us crown ourselves with rosebuds before they wither.

Let none of us fail to share in our revelry;

everywhere let us leave signs of enjoyment,

because this is our portion, and this our lot.

…Thus they reasoned, but they were led astray,

…for God created us for incorruption,

and made us in the image of his own eternity.

Wisdom of Solomon 2:1–23 NRSV (quoted from WikiQuote)

To take pleasure is of human nature. To prevent pain and suffering is also of human nature. We do things we did and suffer/enjoy through it for the sake of gaining pleasure and evading pain. To live, therefore, is of human nature.

And life itself is finite. All the things we know, grasp, and love, is inevitably finite. There are times we aren’t, and there are time we are. To struggle towards achieving a sense of perpetual pleasure, therefore, is of human nature.

I decided to bring some philosophical words after a news spread that one of a person I took photos at has died. This marks the first confirmed case I have photos of a deceased person in my portfolio. Understanding the nature of life and death, I decided to pour my thoughts for a while and decided to still keep the photo as I also hold my belief to photos as a mean of preservation of someone who once was.

What took me by surprise is how healthy this person was when we last met a couple of months ago. Wait, was it months ago? Oh my, I even lost track at the time!

It was an emotional roller-coaster knowing I even had plans to do an improved photoshoot with this person with fancy studio kits. But, I understand I can’t fight Death. I’ll forever cherish our moments even though it was just a blip of my experience in this finite life.

To live, as I just typed above, is to bring the most of our lives while it lasts. That’s why hedonism exists. And I’m rather into its more subtle approach on lively pleasure; to appreciate the things we have and what’s/who’s around us, instead of bringing existence to things that aren’t there.

I may be a hedonist. Ultimately, nobody, even hardcore masochists, desires to live in perpetual pain.

This person’s passing shall be my wake-up call for improving my skills and treat my clients with respect. By respect, I mean I take great considerations of how their final photos will become and understanding their mental needs as well.

And that brought us to a recent Japanese pop culture convention where I met a game-changing experience with some wonderful individuals.

Enter my first Japanese client, who goes by the name けぇこ.

You probably wonder why this is considered something game-changing. You see, I never have clients from foreign countries (i.e. those who asked for their photos to be sent either by private messages or e-mails) since every time I took photos of foreigners, we didn’t exchange contacts, therefore they don’t really be considered as my clients. With that typed, Hiro-san from Yokohama is not my client.

And in this case, we exchanged contacts. I have a few days to curate, edit, and send her photos, notwithstanding any sudden/urgent businesses that may impede my workflow.

Working with a person with a different culture and zeitgeist will be quite a challenge and somewhat an adventure.

However, I understand that my former client’s death somewhat affected my performance. I started to think erroneously, though I still kept my composure and professionalism, brought a splendid quality a photo umbrella ever provided. The idea of how finite life is made my mind kicked in into perfectionism mode. I started to make even more of my other clients somehow surprised at how tense I was there.

Idea of Death will do ‘funny’ stuff to human psychology. There’s a reason why we don’t talk about death in public.

Flashback to the day before, I actually met Keiko-san during a stupendously sudden meeting when I walked past a cosplay photo session, I saw a ‘I’m from Japan’ writing on a notebook, and my Japanese mindset kicked in.

To be frank, my Japanese is as rusty as The Statue of Liberty. Rusty, but otherwise understandable. I started to give prompts (as my Japanese is not adequate enough to let me direct poses instead of command poses) and she followed through. I have to say the results are impressive, but there were some things that could be improved, especially facial angles and contrast.

My past me would say, “Whoa, was Joel Sartore took this photo!?”

The event I came in was held in Saturday and Sunday, and she cosplayed different consecutive characters. There was a stark contrast between these two characters, as they are both the antagonist and the protagonist of the series in which these characters are. She looked sassy at Saturday and looked mellowed at Sunday.

Our session in Saturday was cut short because I had to give my place to other photographers who were just as ambitious as I was. Though, when Keiko-san told me she’ll be here again the day after, I was confident we’ll meet again. That’s why I didn’t say ‘さようなら’ to her; we will meet again.

Just after another ruckus I had during attending this event (last one was I was almost get kicked out by a ‘security’ guard for bringing lightstand into the building while working with a Singaporean client. Way to go, by the way) by accidentally not bringing my SD card into the event — and had to buy one from a nearby camera store that fortunately opens on Sunday — I get to see her again. Without further ado, we continue our session, and I have to say the results are finally improved. I was satisfied enough.

Well, except the one when I forgot several Japanese words that were actually crucial during shooting, like ‘笠’ for ‘umbrella’ and ‘建て’ for ‘hold still’. All because a sudden tsunami of thought that just all of us will not be here forever. I can attest no matter how wise I can get, thinking about death will do ‘funny’ stuff to me. I think mostly because it’s something primordial/primal it is essentially etched permanently into your brain no matter how hard you try.

But I persevered. All of us made it and finally, we parted ways.

Despite the dreadful, primordial thought of non-existence, I still made it to say proper words to her as by not saying ‘さようなら’ and just keeping it chill. We had fun, and that’s all we’d do all day!

Not everyone has the chance to get a second chance. If I can tell you again, if you ever have a slight chance of redeeming something, fucking do it. You’d be surprised at what life will bring you into.

And that’s when by chance, I crossed roads with Keiko-san, again. Surprisingly, she was welcoming enough to let us walk the event together, even to the point I had to guide her to the toilet, all with my rusty Japanese and people thought I’m ‘nihongo jouzu’.

I decided to walk with her because again, I just had a chance to cherish our time together before we parted for real. Surely it was noisy, crowded, and just overall populous, but I once again persevered and let her enjoy her day before eventually we parted ways again.

When you think about it, ‘living in the moment’ is the ultimate mantra of all cultures in human history, when we’ll make sure we have enough physical and mental strength to continue living by going through today. I think I’ve addressed this when I previously wrote about death and Dia de los Muertos. To live is to live in this day, the day that exist. The past no longer exists, while tomorrow has yet to exist.

Back to our definition of hedonism, this is where I draw the line of ‘pursuing joy of the things that are’. We are alive today, we are doing joyful things today, and we happened to share an adventure together that day. I’ll make this day last for both Keiko-san and I.

Because one day, I will no longer exist and she will have a flight to catch. And per this experience, I’ll make sure when that day comes, everything is in our liking, and this is for my future clients as well.

It was a nice day. I’m glad we met, did photo sessions, and walked the event together. For having this mentally challenged goofball walking besides you in a foreign country, you did awesome. I’ll forever cherish this very moment we had before our time comes, if we can meet again, in person.

But I’m in no rush. I understand meeting you is something that happened once in a blue moon. Shall we ever walk this One Strange Rock, I’ll wait for another session, unless you say no.

Have a safe flight to Japanese archipelago, lass.

And may my former client requiescat in pace.

This entry is not for providing detailed review on Anime Fest Asia ID 2024. It will be available on abdi karma (only in Bahasa Indonesia)