Right to Satire: Big E Frantically Attempting To Confirm “E” Is His Real Initial

An encounter with Fashion Police Officers Fandango & Breeze has left Big E questioning everything he thought he once knew. During the exchange Officer Fandango questioned the legitimacy of Big E’s initial. “Why would a trusted member of one of the most decorated police department’s in history question my initial if he didn’t know something that perhaps I don’t know myself”, Big E later contemplated.

We spoke to a source close to the situation today that told us Big E’s unicorn horn has been unusually down in regards to the questioning noting “it normally doesn’t take much to get him up.” The source also said he has been reaching out to Mr. T and Ice T for guidance on how to go about legally verifying his initial after initially trying to reach out to his mother, who declined to comment. We also attempted to reach out to Mrs. Big E, however, she declined to take our calls.

Fellow New Day members Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, who have both experienced prior identity crises of their own, are trying to stay positive while their friend goes through this trying time. “Sure, losing the E would suck, but he would just have to up his daily intake of Booty O’s to ensure he wouldn’t become booty”, said Kingston. They have both admitted it has been difficult as it has been a “rough couple of months” for the storied tag team. The New Day have suffered tragic losses in the past (Francesca, the Raw Tag Team Championships) but they remain hopeful they will not lose their beloved E.