Right To Satire: TJ Perkins Slowly Transitioning Name to TJ Dennys After Experiencing First Grand Slam Breakfast
Recently donning the shortened moniker “TJP”, dirt sheets cited Vince McMahon’s disdain for Perkins Restaurants as motive for the subtle name change, however, an exclusive interview with a local Denny’s employee obtained by The Wrestling Fix offers a different explanation. We sat down with Denny’s server Trent, who recently waited on TJP after WWE RAW a few weeks ago.
Trent said it was around 1 a.m. when TJP entered the restaurant alone. “He looked real like, weird man, like something was up with him”, said Trent. “When I went up to him it seemed like he really didn’t want to be here, but you know I did my thing.” After rigorous reiteration of things already explained on the menu, TJP reluctantly committed to “that stupid baseball breakfast.” “We went over the menu like what felt like 205 times. I explained to him there was different types of Grand Slams every time”, Trent said. “When I asked him which Grand Slam he would like to try he responded with ‘the best one because I could use a good slam’, in kind of a douchey tone and then he hit a what I think was his attempt at a dab. Now that I think about it, he did that shit when he walked in too.”
Trent was left to his own devices and put in the All-American Slam for order. “I figured the All-American Slam was a good fit. He kept muttering some shit about a British King. None of us knew what the fuck he was talking about.” TJP quickly received his food and hesitantly began to eat. “He went from looking completely miserable, to surprised, to satisfied, to like completely on top of the world within a matter of seconds. I have honestly, in all my years of working here, never seen someone so happy to eat this food. I went over to check on him a few minutes later and the entire thing was gone. When I asked him how it was he hit that damn dab again. Like who dabs anymore? Does he do that in front of everybody?”
After explaining to Trent that “yes, yes he does”, Trent would go on, “he kept saying this is life changing, you’ve changed my life and then he said something that sounded like ‘game-changing’ but it wasn’t so clear because his mouth was full of the extra toast he ordered to soak up the grease. So I couldn’t make out it it was ‘game’ or a different word.” Trent also recalled feeling somewhat sorry for TJP. “This was his first experience here, and I’m glad he liked the food, but I’m hoping he still liked us a few hours after. There’s no way man. Have you ever eaten here before? It’s like, yeah, surprise the food is good, but then like, surprise again, you know what I mean. You know what I mean dude I know you do.” Surveillance cameras show TJP leaving the restaurant oddly rejuvenated.
While we haven't been able to confirm any physical follow up, we have contacted other Denny’s Restaurants local to areas that have hosted recent Monday Night Raw events who have all said they have seen a man who fits the description of TJP in their establishments recently. WWE also filed for a trademark on TJD earlier today, which seems like an unusual coincidence considering recent events.
Follow Connor on Twitter: @callenxc
