Dec 23, 2017
Letters to my 18- and 38-Year-Old Selves
Dear 18-year-old,
You don’t know much. You think you do, but you don’t. Not just about your future, but everything else.
I could tell you about the wonderful and terrible things that are going to happen to you in the next few years, but you will find out on your own soon enough.
And who knows whether some of those terrible things have to happen in order to lead to wonderful things in the future?
You recently made a vow, out of exasperation, that may not be the brightest thing you have ever done. You took this vow hoping it would control your thoughts and help you focus, but I can tell you that it didn’t do its job.
You should have known better, really, than to make a vow hoping it would control your thoughts (yeah, right). But you do have moments when you lose your mind, so I won’t blame you.
I just wanted to say that you have made, and are about to make, some pretty bad decisions that will end up hurting future-you.
The main one being that you let yourself go with the flow, and are more distractible than Dug from Pixar’s Up. You don’t have a clear direction, you have let and will continue to let other people push you around, while believing (erroneously) that you’re mostly in control of your own life.
You are a little too impatient, a little too proud, a little too idealistic and religious than is good for you…but at the same you have a hopefulness, innocence, and sweetness from childhood that counterbalances those things.
I would like to give you advice, but you won’t listen to me. Some things you have to learn through experience.
But if I could advise you, I’d just share two things:
1) get your Bible and journal and take a day to just think about where you’ve been and where you’re going, what you really want and what you need to do to get there.
2) Don’t neglect your relationship with God. No matter how distracted and busy you get. It hurts more than you know.
I wish you well, and that you will be as content and happy as possible between now and when you become me.
Yours, Sincerely.
P.S. Oh, and by the way, that friend you are worried about? She’s going to make it. But don’t stop praying for her. It will help.
Dear 38-year-old,
I really have no idea who or where you are right now. You have undoubtedly experienced many good and bad things that I have yet to experience.
I can give you no advice, but I wish you could give me advice.
On the other hand, perhaps I don’t want you to…if something terrible is going to happen between now and 38, I’m not sure I want to know.
Any support or encouragement, though, is highly welcome, if you could somehow transgress the laws of time and space and leave me a letter.
Mostly, I really hope that you are free; free of sickness, free of fear, free to enjoy life as God meant for it to be. Completely free.
I hope you finally have your priorities straight now, that you are successful but not cocky, and that you are still learning.
I hope you have written a lot too, and that your writing has encouraged others, given them some practical advice (and made them smile).
I hope your relationship with God is solid and strong now. I hope you are holding on to the faith, staying true, that you are a good friend, and that you love others truly.
I hope that you are a better version of me now, and even better than 18-year-old us. I really, really hope so.
I hope you have learned to be truly content, and happy with who and where you are.
Yours, Sincerely.
P.S. Remember all those Medium articles I wrote years ago, ostensibly for other readers? Well, they were for you. To remind you where you’ve been, encourage you to keep going, and not make the same mistakes.
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